Chapter Overview
God shows up yet again and decides it’s time to introduce another stipulation in the agreement that Abram has with him, circumcision! In addition to mandating self mutilation of all male genitalia, god also decides that Abram’s and Sarai’s name are SOOOO last century, and renames them to Abraham and Sarah without any consultation whatsoever.
Like all good tales, this one ends with AbramHam following through on god’s orders to circumcise everyone. And, of course, like all good tales, follows up with a good repetition of the ending.
Additional Thoughts
I’ve often wondered WHY circumcision is a thing. The only potential benefit I’ve found that seems reasonable is a reduction in STI’s being transmitted. Not having a foreskin that could trap things under it seems like an advantage in that department.
Forcing something like circumcision of every male brought into the household seems like a pretty hard thing to do. What are you going to do, remember to check every time anyone new joins the household?
Chapter 17: Circumcise All the Things!
- And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.
- And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.
- And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,
- As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.
- Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.
- And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.
- And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.
- And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.
- And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
- This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
- And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
- And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
- He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
- And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.
- And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.
- And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.
- Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
- And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!
- And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.
- And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.
- But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.
- And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.
- And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham’s house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.
- And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
- And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
- In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.
- And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him.
- The demands of perfection from this old dude seem pretty demanding. AbramHam’s already messed up quite a bit, why should he stop now?
- This almost sounds like god is about to repeat the covenant yet again. This is the third or fourth time?
- Sounds like a reasonable response when god keeps repeating himself.
- This is sounding pretty familiar
- Not sure why this is. Is it related to Canaan being owned by Ham? Abram + Ham = Abraham?
- If we’re to believe this, the guy is 99 years old, has 1 child, and is probably getting quite infirm.
- Yep, this is pretty much doing the same thing as every other time god shows up to talk about the covenant.
- Ham has nothing to say in all of this? Does god honor the curse that Noah laid on Ham then? Does god support seeing someone lying naked and getting help for them as a valid reason to curse them?
- AKA: You do as I say and nothing gets broken
- Why does god want fleshy bits cut off? What does that accomplish? Does god really need a reminder of who his people are? Is he not omnipotent? (probably not)
- But why?
- That sounds like it would be really painful. Any women in the area were probably grateful for a few weeks reprieve while the men’s stickers settled down.
- AKA: Even if these people don’t follow your faith, you better do the same to them when you buy slaves. Never mind that they probably won’t be too happy about this.
- Presumably, people have failed to have been circumcised in the past. Does circumcising in a later generation bring this covenant back?
- Why this name change? This is reminding me of Japan with their name changes during the sengoku jidai era.
- So now it’s time to let Sarai…. er… Sarah know that she will be having children, eh?
- You’re 99.. you have a long ways off, right?
- Is he having regrets about having a son already?
- Why not let the father and mother choose the name for once? Seems like god is playing Aphrodite with the OTPs and naming here.
- Wasn’t he supposed to be fighting everything around him because he’s so unruly?
- Got it, Isaac should be born when AbramHam is 91 years old.
- Just imagine god running away shouting “PEACE!”
- Well… the god told us we need to perform self mutilation to keep in his favor, so time to perform that mutilation!
- Unless this took place long after, I’m not sure why they repeat his age here.
At least he’d heal somewhat quickly. - The department of redundancy department called…
- … They want their redundancy back.