Genesis Annotated: Review

Reading Genesis was an interesting experience. That’s not to say it wasn’t frustrating to the nth degree at times, especially in areas of padded read time, but at least I had some views I had about Genesis challenged. Here are the main issues I have with Genesis as a whole.

Problems Encountered While Reading Genesis

  1. No Scientific Basis
  2. No Cohesive Story
  3. Lack of Consistency
  4. Lack of Single Authorship
  5. Lack of Verifiable Evidence
  6. God Not Displayed As Christians Portray

Problem 1: No Scientific Basis

Genesis displays no scientific understanding or profound insights into reality. Rather than godly insight into the nature of reality, we are treated to an iron age view of how the world works. These views include

  1. Flat Earth beliefs
  2. Stars are fixed on a hard dome shell that covers the earth
  3. Stars can give signs and be used to predict the future
  4. Believing a large flood wouldn’t annihilate all life (plants included) on the planet
  5. Believing all animals on earth could fit on a small boat
  6. Geocentric universe model

I’m sure there are more that I’ve forgotten since I read the chapters, but suffice it to say that this book does not read like a divine being telling people how the universe came to be. It instead reads like an author’s attempt to explain the world around him as best he can with the best tools available at the time. I don’t fault the author for this, rather, I fault the people who go on believing this nonsense in a day where correct information (or at least, a more accurate model) is literally a google search away.

Problem 2: No Cohesive Story

If you were to ask me what the main story of genesis was before I read it, I would have answered “It’s a creation myth and an origin story”. Instead, I was treated to 2 chapters of creation myth, about another chapter or two of origin story, and then a random detour to follow a randomly selected dude by the name of Abram because he is “god’s chosen” (no reason given). We then follow an arbitrarily selected lineage from Abram all the way to Joseph, sometimes with stories from previous chapters being repeated in almost the exact same way. By the time the book ends, the only real thing of note is that the last person we were following died under the age of 120, and even that’s a stretch.

Problem 3: Consistency (or the Lack Therof)

If Genesis was written by a single source, especially a divinely inspired one, I would expect to find a good deal of consistency throughout the book. This is absolutely not what I found while reading through the book.

For starters, the first 2 chapters of Genesis disagree with each other. The order in which things were made is different, man is given different emphasis in each one, differing amounts of people are made in each chapter, the garden isn’t mentioned in the first chapter, but makes a cameo in the second, etc. And that’s just in the first 2 chapters.

Later on, we also have continuity errors when Abram is kicked out of Egypt and randomly rich, only to pull the exact same stunt later and be paid to just GTFO. And then his son does the exact same thing later. As demonstrated in the early parts of genesis, god is powerful. Why don’t they just trust in god to protect them? This seems somewhat inconsistent with how Noah was treated for believing in god.

The bible also puts some ages of people down. While there are problems with the ages that I’m sure I don’t know, the big one that stuck out to me was the hard cap on an age of 120 for humans post-flood. Despite this being introduced early on in genesis, time and time again we see people live to be older than it. The only person of note who actually dies under the age of 120 is Joseph in the last few verses of the book.

I’m sure there are many many other issues I’ve left out. These are simply the ones that stuck out to me the most after finishing the book.

Problem 4: Lack of Single Authorship

I began reading this book with the assumption that it was written by a single author. By chapter 2, I had already revised my assumption to be at least 2 authors. If I remember correctly, by chapter 15, It seemed apparent that there must be at least 3 authors. If we’re to believe that this book is the divinely inspired word of literal single god, then why would we have multiple authors adding to the narrative? In fact, if you take away some of the additions that I noticed, the narrative becomes far easier to follow, which would lower how big of a problem I find the lack of cohesion in the story.

A quick search online shows that I am not the only one to draw the conclusion that multiple people authored the book of genesis. For an excellent breakdown of how the first 5 books of the bible were authored, added to, and otherwise changed throughout history, check out a book titled A History of God, the 4000 year quest of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam by Karen Armstrong. Suffice it to say, a lot changed in how god, gods, religion, and more were viewed through the early years. The alterations because of these changes are shown throughout the bible (more than just genesis) very clearly.

Problem 5: Lack of Verifiable Evidence

Putting aside the impossibilities of some things, such as Noah’s ark, there is no verifiable evidence for the events of genesis having occurred. For example, Egyptologists tell us that no evidence for a number of slaves as great in the bible exists, Geologists tell us that no evidence for a worldwide flood exists, and Evolutionists tell us that no evidence for a huge bottleneck in a species exists. While lack of evidence for something is not a clear indicator that something did not happen, it’s absence is certainly notable.

In some cases, there is clear evidence contrary to what genesis has stated. For example, astronomers can show a progression from gas nebula formation to star formation to planetary system formation while the bible claims the planet came first. Some have even used the bible to argue that the earth must be 6000-ish years old when radiometric dating of zircon shows that the earth is at least 4 billion years old.

To once again be clear, I don’t blame the author(s) for their claims, they might have been doing the best with what they knew. I take issue with the people who can’t, or perhaps won’t, fact check this book.

Problem 6: God Not Portrayed as Christians Portray

I’ve asked Christians how they view the Christian god, and their answers do not line up with how god is portrayed in genesis. This is a problem because we have people claiming god is one thing when he is canonically shown not to be that way. Here are a few common things I’ve heard them say.

  1. God is loving/kind/merciful
  2. God is all powerful (Omnipotent)
  3. God is the only god
  4. God is all-knowing

Rather than any of these, genesis shows god to be a petty, fickle, prone to wanton acts of destruction, limited in power, limited knowledge, limited in wisdom, willing to set people up to fail, genocidal maniac. For example, god can be seen as limited in wisdom and knowledge when he places the tree in the garden of eden. If he is truly all knowing, then he would know that some time later, they will eat it due to a talking snake convincing them to. Other examples exist, such as

  1. The great flood (That was REALLY the only option? I can think of several others.)
  2. Destroying Sodom and Gomorrah (Again… this was the only option?)
  3. Being unsure where Adam and Eve are in the garden post fruit munchy time.
  4. Mandating incest or familial relations (Abram, Isaac, etc)
  5. Punishes “sinners” at random (For example, punishes Pharaoh, but not Abram)

This portrait of god makes sense if one realizes that Yahweh was a god of war from among many other deities worshiped at the time. Again, read A History of God, the 4000 year quest of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam by Karen Armstrong, it’s an excellent book on the subject.

Conclusion

Genesis, while full of interesting tales, does not meet the criteria of a reliable book. Drawing on it for knowledge is going to give you iron age methodologies and ideas that do not have a basis in reality.

To recap the 3 points I started reading this book with, it is not wonderfully consistent (contradicts itself by chapter 2), it does not give accurate information about how the world works, and it does not show any prophecies. Point 3 will vary from book to book though.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 50

Chapter Overview

Joseph and a large portion of the land of Egypt bury Jacob. The chapter then time skips to Joseph’s death and kills him off.

Additional Thoughts

This chapter seems like it was supposed to be a climactic and triumphant moment, and it utterly fails in giving that. There’s no lead up to why the entire nation of Egypt would be mourning the death of Jacob with Joseph. As far as we know, Jacob just continued living a quiet life in Goshen as a shepherd. The people of Egypt would neither know about, nor care about, some random guy who lived on the outskirts of civilization, even if he was related to the Pharaoh’s second in command.

That brings up another question. If they would neither know nor care about Jacob, were they coerced and commanded to go along? If so, Joseph is quite a jerk to uproot such a large amount of people in order to force them to go on a long journey to honor some guy they don’t know. If that’s the case, it almost makes me wonder if the Egyptians were justified in enslaving the Israelites in the next book… not that there’s any evidence for Israelite enslavement by the Egyptians at all.

Chapter 50: Joseph Dies

  1. And Joseph fell upon his father’s face, and wept upon him, and kissed him.
  2. And Joseph commanded his servants the physicians to embalm his father: and the physicians embalmed Israel.
  3. And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed: and the Egyptians mourned for him threescore and ten days.
  4. And when the days of his mourning were past, Joseph spake unto the house of Pharaoh, saying, If now I have found grace in your eyes, speak, I pray you, in the ears of Pharaoh, saying,
  5. My father made me swear, saying, Lo, I die: in my grave which I have digged for me in the land of Canaan, there shalt thou bury me. Now therefore let me go up, I pray thee, and bury my father, and I will come again.
  6. And Pharaoh said, Go up, and bury thy father, according as he made thee swear.
  7. And Joseph went up to bury his father: and with him went up all the servants of Pharaoh, the elders of his house, and all the elders of the land of Egypt,
  8. And all the house of Joseph, and his brethren, and his father’s house: only their little ones, and their flocks, and their herds, they left in the land of Goshen.
  9. And there went up with him both chariots and horsemen: and it was a very great company.
  10. And they came to the threshingfloor of Atad, which is beyond Jordan, and there they mourned with a great and very sore lamentation: and he made a mourning for his father seven days.
  11. And when the inhabitants of the land, the Canaanites, saw the mourning in the floor of Atad, they said, This is a grievous mourning to the Egyptians: wherefore the name of it was called Abelmizraim, which is beyond Jordan.
  12. And his sons did unto him according as he commanded them:
  13. For his sons carried him into the land of Canaan, and buried him in the cave of the field of Machpelah, which Abraham bought with the field for a possession of a buryingplace of Ephron the Hittite, before Mamre.
  14. And Joseph returned into Egypt, he, and his brethren, and all that went up with him to bury his father, after he had buried his father.
  15. And when Joseph’s brethren saw that their father was dead, they said, Joseph will peradventure hate us, and will certainly requite us all the evil which we did unto him.
  16. And they sent a messenger unto Joseph, saying, Thy father did command before he died, saying,
  17. So shall ye say unto Joseph, Forgive, I pray thee now, the trespass of thy brethren, and their sin; for they did unto thee evil: and now, we pray thee, forgive the trespass of the servants of the God of thy father. And Joseph wept when they spake unto him.
  18. And his brethren also went and fell down before his face; and they said, Behold, we be thy servants.
  19. And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?
  20. But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
  21. Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them.
  22. And Joseph dwelt in Egypt, he, and his father’s house: and Joseph lived an hundred and ten years.
  23. And Joseph saw Ephraim’s children of the third generation: the children also of Machir the son of Manasseh were brought up upon Joseph’s knees.
  24. And Joseph said unto his brethren, I die: and God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob.
  25. And Joseph took an oath of the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you, and ye shall carry up my bones from hence.
  26. So Joseph died, being an hundred and ten years old: and they embalmed him, and he was put in a coffin in Egypt.

  1. How touching. Jacob did also say the most kind things about Joseph.
  2. Sounds like they’re mixing funeral rites


  3. Why would they? Presumably the egyptians would neither know who this guy is nor care that he died. They probably have their own things going on.
  4. If we’re to believe the bible story, Joseph is literally second in command in Egypt. Why is he worried about whether or not he has “found grace” in the eyes of the pharaoh? Shouldn’t he already know that?
  5. I don’t think Jacob dug it. I’m pretty sure it was already dug many years before for someone else.



  6. Make it so!

  7. They’re taking all the pharaoh’s servants? I’m pretty sure the pharaoh wouldn’t actually do that. There’s no reason for it… this is just ludicrous.
  8. Basically, everyone and their mother, grandmother, and children show up for this. How are they feeding everyone? Why would anyone even go on this trip?
  9. I don’t buy it. A large portion of Egypt’s citizens showing up for a funeral procession of a guy they don’t know?
  10. Why are they mourning? If they really have as many people there as they said, I’m certain many would have assumed it was a festival of some kind. They don’t even know this guy. Why mourn anyways?
  11. A travel procession of that size would be pretty hard to miss. Especially if “all the elders of Egypt” showed up to follow the procession too. Still, why would they all follow this procession? Did they know Jacob at all?
  12. The he and his probably refers to Jacob here.
  13. See? Jacob didn’t dig it.





  14. At least we’re not treated to a recap of what just happened in excruciating detail like so many other times.

  15. Reasonable… they were dicks to him. But, and follow me on this, it’s been decades since that time. I’m pretty sure they’d know if he was still angry.

  16. This starts something I don’t remember hearing about. Are they lying here? I think so.
  17. Did the brothers just make this up because they were scared?




  18. This sounds like another reference to the dream that started this whole fiasco.

  19. AKA: I can’t judge you, that’s god’s place.

  20. AKA: praise the lord because he made good from evil.


  21. Joseph promises to take care of them.


  22. Surprisingly, this is the first time that I remember a person dying before 120. It took all of Genesis to get here.
  23. AKA: He lived a long and good life.



  24. Were all of his brothers still alive? Because they were older than him. Except Benjaminny, I think.

  25. This sounds like a retelling of how Jacob died.

  26. Any mention of this coffin in Egyptology? No? Oh, just asking because it’d be nice to have some evidence, ya know…

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 49

Chapter Overview

Jacob gives his sons prophecies and final thoughts about them before dying. He doesn’t have favorable words for most of them.

Additional Thoughts

It’s official… Jacob is a dick. This appears to be a final F-U to most of his children when he realizes that he’s going to be dying soon. Relatedly… how did he know he was getting close to dying? Is this a magical ability that people in Ye Olden Times possessed? I’ve never understood the “giving up the ghost” thing either. It sounds like people chose when to die. Does that mean his death is technically a suicide if he did?

All in all, another chapter with an iron-age understanding of the world. Nothing important to see here.

Chapter 49: Jacob Dies

  1. And Jacob called unto his sons, and said, Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the last days.
  2. Gather yourselves together, and hear, ye sons of Jacob; and hearken unto Israel your father.
  3. Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power:
  4. Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it: he went up to my couch.
  5. Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.
  6. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall.
  7. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
  8. Judah, thou art he whom thy brethren shall praise: thy hand shall be in the neck of thine enemies; thy father’s children shall bow down before thee.
  9. Judah is a lion’s whelp: from the prey, my son, thou art gone up: he stooped down, he couched as a lion, and as an old lion; who shall rouse him up?
  10. The sceptre shall not depart from Judah, nor a lawgiver from between his feet, until Shiloh come; and unto him shall the gathering of the people be.
  11. Binding his foal unto the vine, and his ass’s colt unto the choice vine; he washed his garments in wine, and his clothes in the blood of grapes:
  12. His eyes shall be red with wine, and his teeth white with milk.
  13. Zebulun shall dwell at the haven of the sea; and he shall be for an haven of ships; and his border shall be unto Zidon.
  14. Issachar is a strong ass couching down between two burdens:
  15. And he saw that rest was good, and the land that it was pleasant; and bowed his shoulder to bear, and became a servant unto tribute.
  16. Dan shall judge his people, as one of the tribes of Israel.
  17. Dan shall be a serpent by the way, an adder in the path, that biteth the horse heels, so that his rider shall fall backward.
  18. I have waited for thy salvation, O Lord.
  19. Gad, a troop shall overcome him: but he shall overcome at the last.
  20. Out of Asher his bread shall be fat, and he shall yield royal dainties.
  21. Naphtali is a hind let loose: he giveth goodly words.
  22. Joseph is a fruitful bough, even a fruitful bough by a well; whose branches run over the wall:
  23. The archers have sorely grieved him, and shot at him, and hated him:
  24. But his bow abode in strength, and the arms of his hands were made strong by the hands of the mighty God of Jacob; (from thence is the shepherd, the stone of Israel:)
  25. Even by the God of thy father, who shall help thee; and by the Almighty, who shall bless thee with blessings of heaven above, blessings of the deep that lieth under, blessings of the breasts, and of the womb:
  26. The blessings of thy father have prevailed above the blessings of my progenitors unto the utmost bound of the everlasting hills: they shall be on the head of Joseph, and on the crown of the head of him that was separate from his brethren.
  27. Benjamin shall ravin as a wolf: in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil.
  28. All these are the twelve tribes of Israel: and this is it that their father spake unto them, and blessed them; every one according to his blessing he blessed them.
  29. And he charged them, and said unto them, I am to be gathered unto my people: bury me with my fathers in the cave that is in the field of Ephron the Hittite,
  30. In the cave that is in the field of Machpelah, which is before Mamre, in the land of Canaan, which Abraham bought with the field of Ephron the Hittite for a possession of a buryingplace.
  31. There they buried Abraham and Sarah his wife; there they buried Isaac and Rebekah his wife; and there I buried Leah.
  32. The purchase of the field and of the cave that is therein was from the children of Heth.
  33. And when Jacob had made an end of commanding his sons, he gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost, and was gathered unto his people.

  1. This starts off sounding like it’s going to be an apocalyptic prophecy. Unfortunately, it’s not. It’s just Jacob ragging on most of his sons.
  2. Hear ye, hear ye, Jacob (not Israel) speaks.


  3. Aw how nice.



  4. And this immediately turns sour.



  5. Aw, how mean.

  6. Sounds like Jacob REALLY doesn’t like Simeon or Levi.



  7. Divide them in Jacob? WTF does this mean?

  8. Judah, in the original hebrew, sounds like the hebrew word for “Praise”. That might be the origin of the name.

  9. Sounds like Judah isn’t being completely ragged on… still not a super nice picture of him.

  10. Not entirely sure who this Shiloh person is supposed to be.


  11. That’s a lot of references to wine.



  12. Is Shiloh some sort of drunkard?

  13. Claims this guy will live by the sea. This doesn’t work though. Zebulun is land locked
  14. As opposed to being strong of ass?

  15. Guess he’s happy with his lot in life



  16. Apparently Dan means “He provides justice”.
  17. Isn’t it a bit suspicious to have a judge named “He who provides justice” being compared to a snake?
  18. This disrupts the narrative. 0/10 slaves.
  19. This guy is going to be attacked and fail to defend, but ultimately prevail?
  20. Someone gets a good lot out of life.

  21. This guy sounds like he gets a good reading from jacob as well.
  22. Jacob is really obsessed with Joseph. He spends 5 verses on him. I think we found the next main chracter.
  23. Probably referencing his brothers.

  24. God kept him strong apparently despite there not really being evidence for this.


  25. But why? Jacob claims all this will happen, but there’s been no real reason to believe any of this.


  26. Apparently Joseph is the chosen one now.





  27. Huh… back to hating on his offspring.


  28. I’d honestly do literally anything other than forming a tribe if I were these kids just to spite Jacob at this point.

  29. After telling them how much he kinda hates most of them, why would they?


  30. Yeah, no. That’s a long walk. They should do literally anything else.



  31. Recap of the past.


  32. That was a pretty weird chapter too.


  33. Jacob shouts “YEET!” and yeets his soul out of his body. And dies.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 48

Chapter Overview

Joseph brings his sons to visit his dying dad, and Jacob blesses everyone.

Additional Thoughts

For some reason, ancient writers (in Europe specifically where this takes place) seem to believe that left is evil and right is good. This has shown up in later persecution of left-handed people as being “of the devil” and forced to do everything with their right hand. Schools up till the 1960’s actually forced kids to write with their right hands even if they were left handed, and a level of both intentional and unintentional bias against left handed people STILL persists to this day. Try using some scissors left handed if you’ve never tried… they are both uncomfortable and won’t cut right.

All that is lead up to say that despite the bible trying to push the idea that left is bad and right is “right”, there’s no reason to believe so. This is an iron age belief that has persisted for long enough, and thankfully seems to be dying down since the 1970’s.

Chapter 48: Jacob Blesses

  1. And it came to pass after these things, that one told Joseph, Behold, thy father is sick: and he took with him his two sons, Manasseh and Ephraim.
  2. And one told Jacob, and said, Behold, thy son Joseph cometh unto thee: and Israel strengthened himself, and sat upon the bed.
  3. And Jacob said unto Joseph, God Almighty appeared unto me at Luz in the land of Canaan, and blessed me,
  4. And said unto me, Behold, I will make thee fruitful, and multiply thee, and I will make of thee a multitude of people; and will give this land to thy seed after thee for an everlasting possession.
  5. And now thy two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh, which were born unto thee in the land of Egypt before I came unto thee into Egypt, are mine; as Reuben and Simeon, they shall be mine.
  6. And thy issue, which thou begettest after them, shall be thine, and shall be called after the name of their brethren in their inheritance.
  7. And as for me, when I came from Padan, Rachel died by me in the land of Canaan in the way, when yet there was but a little way to come unto Ephrath: and I buried her there in the way of Ephrath; the same is Bethlehem.
  8. And Israel beheld Joseph’s sons, and said, Who are these?
  9. And Joseph said unto his father, They are my sons, whom God hath given me in this place. And he said, Bring them, I pray thee, unto me, and I will bless them.
  10. Now the eyes of Israel were dim for age, so that he could not see. And he brought them near unto him; and he kissed them, and embraced them.
  11. And Israel said unto Joseph, I had not thought to see thy face: and, lo, God hath shewed me also thy seed.
  12. And Joseph brought them out from between his knees, and he bowed himself with his face to the earth.
  13. And Joseph took them both, Ephraim in his right hand toward Israel’s left hand, and Manasseh in his left hand toward Israel’s right hand, and brought them near unto him.
  14. And Israel stretched out his right hand, and laid it upon Ephraim’s head, who was the younger, and his left hand upon Manasseh’s head, guiding his hands wittingly; for Manasseh was the firstborn.
  15. And he blessed Joseph, and said, God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac did walk, the God which fed me all my life long unto this day,
  16. The Angel which redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads; and let my name be named on them, and the name of my fathers Abraham and Isaac; and let them grow into a multitude in the midst of the earth.
  17. And when Joseph saw that his father laid his right hand upon the head of Ephraim, it displeased him: and he held up his father’s hand, to remove it from Ephraim’s head unto Manasseh’s head.
  18. And Joseph said unto his father, Not so, my father: for this is the firstborn; put thy right hand upon his head.
  19. And his father refused, and said, I know it, my son, I know it: he also shall become a people, and he also shall be great: but truly his younger brother shall be greater than he, and his seed shall become a multitude of nations.
  20. And he blessed them that day, saying, In thee shall Israel bless, saying, God make thee as Ephraim and as Manasseh: and he set Ephraim before Manasseh.
  21. And Israel said unto Joseph, Behold, I die: but God shall be with you, and bring you again unto the land of your fathers.
  22. Moreover I have given to thee one portion above thy brethren, which I took out of the hand of the Amorite with my sword and with my bow.

  1. Joseph tells pharaoh that his dad is sick. Presumably he’s taking a paid vacation.


  2. Is Jacob going blind?



  3. Sounds crazy, but go on.


  4. Yeah, he keeps promising that to everyone he meets.



  5. He’s claiming Joseph’s kids as his own? I don’t think it quite works that way…



  6. They really make a big deal about this intangible inheritance, don’t they.


  7. Alright.





  8. Memory loss too? He already knows they’re Joseph’s sons.
  9. Jacob… er Israel… wants to bless them.



  10. That seems a bit personal.



  11. I thought I’d never see you again, and yet here I am also seeing your kids.

  12. Why would he bow down though?


  13. He’s trying to get his firstborn on the right side because that’s the “good” side. Iron age reasoning at it’s finest.


  14. Jacob would have to cross his arms to do this… wouldn’t Joseph have noticed?



  15. He’s blessing Joseph first



  16. Let there be kids.





  17. Joseph is a bit confused as to why Jacob has his arms crossed.



  18. And asks him to straighten them so he’s got it right.

  19. Jacob is stubborn and decides to screw the firstborn out of his inheritance. I’m starting to wonder if the firstborn has ever received anything throughout the entire bible.


  20. AKA: You are Israelites now.



  21. AKA: I’m dying! Don’t worry, god will be with you.

  22. Joseph is getting extra inheritance.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 47

Chapter Overview

The famine rages on, and Joseph takes ALL of the money from the people. They need to eat to live, so Joseph offers to trade them bread for their cattle, which they do. They’re stull hungry, so Joseph then buys all the land in Egypt and enslaves the people, telling them to get farming. Jacob gets close to dying and tells Joseph to bury him in Canaan when he dies.

Additional Thoughts

Ya know… if this was Assassin’s Creed (and if there was actually evidence for Joseph to have ever lived), Joseph would make an excellent Templar…. The fact that he manages to enslave an entire country to work for his is quite in line with how they act. We also have to presume that god is ok with this because we don’t hear anything to the contrary.

Chapter 47: Joseph Enslaves Egypt

  1. Then Joseph came and told Pharaoh, and said, My father and my brethren, and their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have, are come out of the land of Canaan; and, behold, they are in the land of Goshen.
  2. And he took some of his brethren, even five men, and presented them unto Pharaoh.
  3. And Pharaoh said unto his brethren, What is your occupation? And they said unto Pharaoh, Thy servants are shepherds, both we, and also our fathers.
  4. They said morever unto Pharaoh, For to sojourn in the land are we come; for thy servants have no pasture for their flocks; for the famine is sore in the land of Canaan: now therefore, we pray thee, let thy servants dwell in the land of Goshen.
  5. And Pharaoh spake unto Joseph, saying, Thy father and thy brethren are come unto thee:
  6. The land of Egypt is before thee; in the best of the land make thy father and brethren to dwell; in the land of Goshen let them dwell: and if thou knowest any men of activity among them, then make them rulers over my cattle.
  7. And Joseph brought in Jacob his father, and set him before Pharaoh: and Jacob blessed Pharaoh.
  8. And Pharaoh said unto Jacob, How old art thou?
  9. And Jacob said unto Pharaoh, The days of the years of my pilgrimage are an hundred and thirty years: few and evil have the days of the years of my life been, and have not attained unto the days of the years of the life of my fathers in the days of their pilgrimage.
  10.  And Jacob blessed Pharaoh, and went out from before Pharaoh.
  11. And Joseph placed his father and his brethren, and gave them a possession in the land of Egypt, in the best of the land, in the land of Rameses, as Pharaoh had commanded.
  12. And Joseph nourished his father, and his brethren, and all his father’s household, with bread, according to their families.
  13. And there was no bread in all the land; for the famine was very sore, so that the land of Egypt and all the land of Canaan fainted by reason of the famine.
  14. And Joseph gathered up all the money that was found in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, for the corn which they bought: and Joseph brought the money into Pharaoh’s house.
  15. And when money failed in the land of Egypt, and in the land of Canaan, all the Egyptians came unto Joseph, and said, Give us bread: for why should we die in thy presence? for the money faileth.
  16. And Joseph said, Give your cattle; and I will give you for your cattle, if money fail.
  17. And they brought their cattle unto Joseph: and Joseph gave them bread in exchange for horses, and for the flocks, and for the cattle of the herds, and for the asses: and he fed them with bread for all their cattle for that year.
  18. When that year was ended, they came unto him the second year, and said unto him, We will not hide it from my lord, how that our money is spent; my lord also hath our herds of cattle; there is not ought left in the sight of my lord, but our bodies, and our lands:
  19. Wherefore shall we die before thine eyes, both we and our land? buy us and our land for bread, and we and our land will be servants unto Pharaoh: and give us seed, that we may live, and not die, that the land be not desolate.
  20. And Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh; for the Egyptians sold every man his field, because the famine prevailed over them: so the land became Pharaoh’s.
  21. And as for the people, he removed them to cities from one end of the borders of Egypt even to the other end thereof.
  22. Only the land of the priests bought he not; for the priests had a portion assigned them of Pharaoh, and did eat their portion which Pharaoh gave them: wherefore they sold not their lands.
  23. Then Joseph said unto the people, Behold, I have bought you this day and your land for Pharaoh: lo, here is seed for you, and ye shall sow the land.
  24. And it shall come to pass in the increase, that ye shall give the fifth part unto Pharaoh, and four parts shall be your own, for seed of the field, and for your food, and for them of your households, and for food for your little ones.
  25. And they said, Thou hast saved our lives: let us find grace in the sight of my lord, and we will be Pharaoh’s servants.
  26. And Joseph made it a law over the land of Egypt unto this day, that Pharaoh should have the fifth part, except the land of the priests only, which became not Pharaoh’s.
  27. And Israel dwelt in the land of Egypt, in the country of Goshen; and they had possessions therein, and grew, and multiplied exceedingly.
  28. And Jacob lived in the land of Egypt seventeen years: so the whole age of Jacob was an hundred forty and seven years.
  29. And the time drew nigh that Israel must die: and he called his son Joseph, and said unto him, If now I have found grace in thy sight, put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh, and deal kindly and truly with me; bury me not, I pray thee, in Egypt:
  30. But I will lie with my fathers, and thou shalt carry me out of Egypt, and bury me in their buryingplace. And he said, I will do as thou hast said.
  31. And he said, Swear unto me. And he sware unto him. And Israel bowed himself upon the bed’s head.

  1. Continues right where chapter 46 ends.




  2. Takes 5 of his brothers to see the pharaoh.


  3. Ya know, we’ve never heard what pharaoh’s name was. He’s literally just “Pharaoh” this entire time.

  4. They brothers say that they want to live in Goshen.




  5. Pharaoh comments on how Joseph has some visitors.

  6. And says it’s alright with him if they go live there. They gotta work for the Pharaoh though.



  7. Just imagine an old man walking into a room and randomly blessing you. Would you be comfortable with that?
  8. AKA: Dude… you look ancient

  9. Jacob is 130. Remember back in Genesis 6:3 when people were supposed to die at 120? It’s still not happening.




  10. This guy is handing out blessings left and right. Two authors again?
  11. You could potentially say that the pharaoh is named Ramses because of this, but it’s not stated that it is the pharaoh’s name. It’s the land of Ramses, which sounds like a predecessor when put that way.
  12. Joseph keeps everyone alive because man… this guy is just the greatest.

  13. People in Canaan are either all dead OR they are wiped out enough to not be relevant anymore.

  14. Seems like this would cause a return to bartering if there was truly no money for the people to use.


  15. Did they have inflation? Why did the money fail? Was it because all the money was at pharaoh’s treasury?


  16. This seems like an odd trade: Livestock for bread.
  17. They’re willingly going for this. It seems like Joseph is getting his dear old dad to profit off of Egypt’s (and the surrounding area’s) misfortune already.


  18. AKA: We have nothing left to give and yet still you want to take from us.




  19. What’s next, our land?





  20. Using all the money in Egypt, Joseph buys all of Egypt. This seems… odd.


  21. So… Joseph just moves people around now and possibly enslaves them?

  22. The priests were the only faction to be fine with not selling their land.



  23. Joseph lords the fact that he owns everything over the people and lays down the ground rules. They WILL farm.

  24. And when they finish farming, they WILL give up some of it to the pharaoh.




  25. And… they’re grateful for this? Yeah right.


  26. Any evidence of this law in Egyptian records? Anywhere? Oh just asking… ya know… no reason… just curious….

  27. Sounds like he’s prospering while everyone else is put into servitude.


  28. Jacob lived another 17 years


  29. And Jacob told Joseph to grab his junk





  30. And then swear that he’d bury him in Canaan.


  31. And Joseph swore.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 46

Chapter Overview

Jacob (No, Israel, really) makes the journey down to Egypt with his sons and we get the genealogy of Jacob.

Additional Thoughts

I’m not even through one book of the bible, and the misogyny has been rubbing me the wrong way the entire time. The thoughts and morals expressed in this book are rooted in Iron age thinking and understanding and are certainly not all applicable to society today. Previous chapters saw women being shuttled around without any regard to what they wanted, women clearly have no rights, and women aren’t even included in the genealogy (except in one instance to force the total kids to 7).

Beyond that… not much to see in this chapter here beyond a lie about Egyptians believing shepherding was an abomination. Egyptians had their own shepherds.

Chapter 46: Jacob’s Journey to the South

  1. And Israel took his journey with all that he had, and came to Beersheba, and offered sacrifices unto the God of his father Isaac.
  2. And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night, and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I.
  3. And he said, I am God, the God of thy father: fear not to go down into Egypt; for I will there make of thee a great nation:
  4. I will go down with thee into Egypt; and I will also surely bring thee up again: and Joseph shall put his hand upon thine eyes.
  5. And Jacob rose up from Beersheba: and the sons of Israel carried Jacob their father, and their little ones, and their wives, in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent to carry him.
  6. And they took their cattle, and their goods, which they had gotten in the land of Canaan, and came into Egypt, Jacob, and all his seed with him:
  7. His sons, and his sons’ sons with him, his daughters, and his sons’ daughters, and all his seed brought he with him into Egypt.
  8. And these are the names of the children of Israel, which came into Egypt, Jacob and his sons: Reuben, Jacob’s firstborn.
  9. And the sons of Reuben; Hanoch, and Phallu, and Hezron, and Carmi.
  10. And the sons of Simeon; Jemuel, and Jamin, and Ohad, and Jachin, and Zohar, and Shaul the son of a Canaanitish woman.
  11. And the sons of Levi; Gershon, Kohath, and Merari.
  12. And the sons of Judah; Er, and Onan, and Shelah, and Pharez, and Zarah: but Er and Onan died in the land of Canaan. And the sons of Pharez were Hezron and Hamul.
  13. And the sons of Issachar; Tola, and Phuvah, and Job, and Shimron.
  14. And the sons of Zebulun; Sered, and Elon, and Jahleel.
  15. These be the sons of Leah, which she bare unto Jacob in Padanaram, with his daughter Dinah: all the souls of his sons and his daughters were thirty and three.
  16. And the sons of Gad; Ziphion, and Haggi, Shuni, and Ezbon, Eri, and Arodi, and Areli.
  17. And the sons of Asher; Jimnah, and Ishuah, and Isui, and Beriah, and Serah their sister: and the sons of Beriah; Heber, and Malchiel.
  18. These are the sons of Zilpah, whom Laban gave to Leah his daughter, and these she bare unto Jacob, even sixteen souls.
  19. The sons of Rachel Jacob’s wife; Joseph, and Benjamin.
  20. And unto Joseph in the land of Egypt were born Manasseh and Ephraim, which Asenath the daughter of Potipherah priest of On bare unto him.
  21. And the sons of Benjamin were Belah, and Becher, and Ashbel, Gera, and Naaman, Ehi, and Rosh, Muppim, and Huppim, and Ard.
  22. These are the sons of Rachel, which were born to Jacob: all the souls were fourteen.
  23. And the sons of Dan; Hushim.
  24. And the sons of Naphtali; Jahzeel, and Guni, and Jezer, and Shillem.
  25. These are the sons of Bilhah, which Laban gave unto Rachel his daughter, and she bare these unto Jacob: all the souls were seven.
  26. All the souls that came with Jacob into Egypt, which came out of his loins, besides Jacob’s sons’ wives, all the souls were threescore and six;
  27. And the sons of Joseph, which were born him in Egypt, were two souls: all the souls of the house of Jacob, which came into Egypt, were threescore and ten.
  28. And he sent Judah before him unto Joseph, to direct his face unto Goshen; and they came into the land of Goshen.
  29. And Joseph made ready his chariot, and went up to meet Israel his father, to Goshen, and presented himself unto him; and he fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while.
  30. And Israel said unto Joseph, Now let me die, since I have seen thy face, because thou art yet alive.
  31. And Joseph said unto his brethren, and unto his father’s house, I will go up, and shew Pharaoh, and say unto him, My brethren, and my father’s house, which were in the land of Canaan, are come unto me;
  32. And the men are shepherds, for their trade hath been to feed cattle; and they have brought their flocks, and their herds, and all that they have.
  33. And it shall come to pass, when Pharaoh shall call you, and shall say, What is your occupation?
  34. That ye shall say, Thy servants’ trade hath been about cattle from our youth even until now, both we, and also our fathers: that ye may dwell in the land of Goshen; for every shepherd is an abomination unto the Egyptians.

  1. Time to get travelling and making sacrifices again.

  2. Even god can’t seem to keep Jacob’s… er Israel’s (No no, Jacob actually…) name straight.
  3. This is sounding quite like every other time that god shows up to a person. He really like founding nations.
  4. Uh…. no. Jacob dies in Egypt, he’s never brought back out.

  5. I’m still not sure why the wagons were sent in the first place.



  6. Weren’t they told to leave everything behind last chapter?


  7. AKA: Everyone came with him.


  8. Oh no… not another one of these…. Why are there so many genealogies? 1 Direct son.

  9. That son had 4 sons (but how many daughters? We’ll never know)
  10. 1 Direct son, that son had 6 sons. Why is one specified to be from another woman? Probably to make this 7 (6 + 1)
  11. 1 direct son with 3 sons.

  12. 1 son who has 5 sons, and 1 son with 2 sons. Oh look… we have a 7 again. These authors are REALLY forcing 7’s in where they can.
  13. 1 son with 4 sons

  14. 1 son with 3 sons

  15. Aight… not sure why you care how many were there.


  16. 1 son with 7 sons

  17. 1 son with 4 sons and 1 daughter, 1 son with 2 sons. Why is the daughter mentioned here an no others? To make the kids total 7
  18. The total for the sons so far is 16. Note that they ignore the daughter again.

  19. 2 sons

  20. Joseph had 2 sons



  21. benjamin had 10 sons


  22. Why don’t they go more generations? Or less? This is all contrived.
  23. 1 son with 1 son
  24. 1 son with 4 sons

  25. The sons above with their sons total 7.



  26. Total sons + that random daughter: 71.
    Total – Joseph and his kids: 67
    Total – the random daughter from verse 17: 66. This is misogynistic.
  27. Total Sons + random daughter: 71
    Threescore and 10: 70
    What a bunch of assholes. I know it was common at the time, but I hate them now.
  28. Judah goes and gets a map.


  29. Everyone has a good cry.




  30. And Jacob… er Israel… wants to die now.


  31. He wants to show off his family to Pharaoh. Cool idea. Any records of this visit? No? Oh… no reason… just asking….



  32. They have a trade



  33. Here’s what you sy when he asks you your trade.

  34. No. shepherds were not abominations. Egyptians actually had their own shepherding of sheep they did. Welcome to yet another false claim from the bible. What a surprise.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 45

Chapter Overview

Joseph stops yanking his brothers around and lets them know it’s him at last. They all talk it out, and Joseph tells them they can come live here and gives them some land to live on. Then the Pharaoh does the exact same thing. Then the brothers go home with a crapton of stuff.

Additional Thoughts

I remember reading the story of Joseph as a kid and being so happy about the whole situation because it has somewhat of a happy ending. Joseph isn’t dead, Jacob is alright, etc etc. Reading it now, I see how contrived the entire story is. That doesn’t mean it’s not a decent story, but it’s definitely just that: A story. A story told to try convince people that god is always there and has a plan for you.

Once again, we see some indications that this chapter has a couple different authors in it. One author appeared to favor Joseph sending the brothers home, while the other favored the Pharaoh sending the brothers home. I’d presume the former thought Joseph had the authority to give away land while the latter assumed Joseph did not, so the pharaoh had to.

Chapter 45: Joseph Wept
AKA: Joseph Comes Clean

  1. Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren.
  2. And he wept aloud: and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard.
  3. And Joseph said unto his brethren, I am Joseph; doth my father yet live? And his brethren could not answer him; for they were troubled at his presence.
  4. And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.
  5. Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life.
  6. For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest.
  7. And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
  8. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.
  9. Haste ye, and go up to my father, and say unto him, Thus saith thy son Joseph, God hath made me lord of all Egypt: come down unto me, tarry not:
  10. And thou shalt dwell in the land of Goshen, and thou shalt be near unto me, thou, and thy children, and thy children’s children, and thy flocks, and thy herds, and all that thou hast:
  11. And there will I nourish thee; for yet there are five years of famine; lest thou, and thy household, and all that thou hast, come to poverty.
  12. And, behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin, that it is my mouth that speaketh unto you.
  13. And ye shall tell my father of all my glory in Egypt, and of all that ye have seen; and ye shall haste and bring down my father hither.
  14. And he fell upon his brother Benjamin’s neck, and wept; and Benjamin wept upon his neck.
  15. Moreover he kissed all his brethren, and wept upon them: and after that his brethren talked with him.
  16. And the fame thereof was heard in Pharaoh’s house, saying, Joseph’s brethren are come: and it pleased Pharaoh well, and his servants.
  17. And Pharaoh said unto Joseph, Say unto thy brethren, This do ye; lade your beasts, and go, get you unto the land of Canaan;
  18. And take your father and your households, and come unto me: and I will give you the good of the land of Egypt, and ye shall eat the fat of the land.
  19. Now thou art commanded, this do ye; take you wagons out of the land of Egypt for your little ones, and for your wives, and bring your father, and come.
  20. Also regard not your stuff; for the good of all the land of Egypt is your’s.
  21. And the children of Israel did so: and Joseph gave them wagons, according to the commandment of Pharaoh, and gave them provision for the way.
  22. To all of them he gave each man changes of raiment; but to Benjamin he gave three hundred pieces of silver, and five changes of raiment.
  23. And to his father he sent after this manner; ten asses laden with the good things of Egypt, and ten she asses laden with corn and bread and meat for his father by the way.
  24. So he sent his brethren away, and they departed: and he said unto them, See that ye fall not out by the way.
  25. And they went up out of Egypt, and came into the land of Canaan unto Jacob their father,
  26. And told him, saying, Joseph is yet alive, and he is governor over all the land of Egypt. And Jacob’s heart fainted, for he believed them not.
  27. And they told him all the words of Joseph, which he had said unto them: and when he saw the wagons which Joseph had sent to carry him, the spirit of Jacob their father revived:
  28. And Israel said, It is enough; Joseph my son is yet alive: I will go and see him before I die.

  1. Joseph can’t take it anymore and starts crying while telling his brothers that it’s him.



  2. He’s noisy enough that everyone heard.

  3. Didn’t we just go over this last chapter? These writers like to repeat themselves.


  4. They don’t believe him… I can’t imagine why. Lying to people tends to have that effect.

  5. Joseph really likes speaking for god. Did he ever talk to him? Did god ever reveal any plans? Not that I remember reading about.

  6. So Joseph claims.



  7. Again speaking for god. Why bring god into this at all? There was never any indication that god did any of this.
  8. Not really… god let him interpret some dreams. The Pharaoh thought that was useful.

  9. Man this kid has a grandiose view of himself. It’s no wonder that he was sold into slavery to try knock his ego down a peg or two.
  10. Joseph is just giving land away.




  11. I’ll take care of you guys if you do.



  12. Why is Benjamin considered so important this entire time? It’s really not clear.

  13. Hurry and tell dear ‘ol dad this.



  14. Everyone cries.


  15. And then kisses and makes out.


  16. But why? I presume that Pharaoh would be a little concerned about having more random people to feed.

  17. This sounds like a repetition of the verses above. Separate authors again?

  18. Yeah, this is literally the same thing.



  19. Only difference is, the Pharaoh is saying it this time.


  20. AKA: Leave everything and come here.

  21. And so they did. This appears to follow the Pharaoh speaking timeline.


  22. Why the heck is Benjamin so special… seriously?


  23. Why? They’ll be travelling right back again. Wouldn’t it make more sense to keep them in Egypt?


  24. AKA: Make sure you come back.


  25. They went home


  26. Yeah, this is a pretty unbelievable claim



  27. So… are they implying that Jacob nearly died here?



  28. Jacob rejoices that Joseph is still alive.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 44

Chapter Overview

Joseph pulls one over on the brothers once again and sets up a situation where Benjamin has to stay in Egypt. Judah does his best to try convince Joseph not to do that.

Additional Thoughts

I’m honestly surprised that the brothers let their sacks out of their sight this time. It seems like they’d be a bit more worried about a repeat of last time, but no. So we end up with a repeat of the last time, and end up needing to negotiate with this dude who really wants a new slave.

Given that this has so many similarities to chapter 42, I wonder if this chapter and chapter are 2 different retellings of the same event. We’ve seen that happen before, such as with the creation myth and pretending your wife is your sister, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

Chapter 44: Joseph Messes With His Brothers again

  1. And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, Fill the men’s sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put every man’s money in his sack’s mouth.
  2. And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack’s mouth of the youngest, and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken.
  3. As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away, they and their asses.
  4. And when they were gone out of the city, and not yet far off, Joseph said unto his steward, Up, follow after the men; and when thou dost overtake them, say unto them, Wherefore have ye rewarded evil for good?
  5. Is not this it in which my lord drinketh, and whereby indeed he divineth? ye have done evil in so doing.
  6. And he overtook them, and he spake unto them these same words.
  7. And they said unto him, Wherefore saith my lord these words? God forbid that thy servants should do according to this thing:
  8. Behold, the money, which we found in our sacks’ mouths, we brought again unto thee out of the land of Canaan: how then should we steal out of thy lord’s house silver or gold?
  9. With whomsoever of thy servants it be found, both let him die, and we also will be my lord’s bondmen.
  10. And he said, Now also let it be according unto your words: he with whom it is found shall be my servant; and ye shall be blameless.
  11. Then they speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack.
  12. And he searched, and began at the eldest, and left at the youngest: and the cup was found in Benjamin’s sack.
  13. Then they rent their clothes, and laded every man his ass, and returned to the city.
  14. And Judah and his brethren came to Joseph’s house; for he was yet there: and they fell before him on the ground.
  15. And Joseph said unto them, What deed is this that ye have done? wot ye not that such a man as I can certainly divine?
  16. And Judah said, What shall we say unto my lord? what shall we speak? or how shall we clear ourselves? God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants: behold, we are my lord’s servants, both we, and he also with whom the cup is found.
  17. And he said, God forbid that I should do so: but the man in whose hand the cup is found, he shall be my servant; and as for you, get you up in peace unto your father.
  18. Then Judah came near unto him, and said, Oh my lord, let thy servant, I pray thee, speak a word in my lord’s ears, and let not thine anger burn against thy servant: for thou art even as Pharaoh.
  19. My lord asked his servants, saying, Have ye a father, or a brother?
  20. And we said unto my lord, We have a father, an old man, and a child of his old age, a little one; and his brother is dead, and he alone is left of his mother, and his father loveth him.
  21. And thou saidst unto thy servants, Bring him down unto me, that I may set mine eyes upon him.
  22. And we said unto my lord, The lad cannot leave his father: for if he should leave his father, his father would die.
  23. And thou saidst unto thy servants, Except your youngest brother come down with you, ye shall see my face no more.
  24. And it came to pass when we came up unto thy servant my father, we told him the words of my lord.
  25. And our father said, Go again, and buy us a little food
  26. And we said, We cannot go down: if our youngest brother be with us, then will we go down: for we may not see the man’s face, except our youngest brother be with us.
  27. And thy servant my father said unto us, Ye know that my wife bare me two sons:
  28. And the one went out from me, and I said, Surely he is torn in pieces; and I saw him not since:
  29. And if ye take this also from me, and mischief befall him, ye shall bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.
  30. Now therefore when I come to thy servant my father, and the lad be not with us; seeing that his life is bound up in the lad’s life;
  31. It shall come to pass, when he seeth that the lad is not with us, that he will die: and thy servants shall bring down the gray hairs of thy servant our father with sorrow to the grave.
  32. For thy servant became surety for the lad unto my father, saying, If I bring him not unto thee, then I shall bear the blame to my father for ever.
  33. Now therefore, I pray thee, let thy servant abide instead of the lad a bondman to my lord; and let the lad go up with his brethren.
  34. For how shall I go up to my father, and the lad be not with me? lest peradventure I see the evil that shall come on my father.

  1. AKA: We’re giving their money back again.



  2. Sounds like Joseph has something special planned for Benjaminny.


  3. They leave.

  4. Was the steward part of this whole deception? Did Joseph tell him what he planned? If not, the steward probably has some questions about this obvious setup.


  5. AKA: You took a cup, how could you!


  6. Good pacing, doesn’t pad out the reading time. 3/5 Cleopatras.
  7. AKA: We didn’t do this!


  8. We brought back the money we tried to pay with last time, why would we steal anything?


  9. AKA: If your servants have it, kill that servent.

  10. Whoever has the shiny is a slave, everyone else is free to go.


  11. Get to searching quickly.


  12. Searched oldest to youngest. Of course it’s in Benjamin’s sack.

  13. Everyone returns to egypt.

  14. They bow down before Joseph.


  15. AKA: What have you all done? Didn’t you realize I’d notice this?

  16. AKA: We’re all your slaves now to make up for a missing silver cup. This really doesn’t seem right… punishment doesn’t quite fit the crime. I’d offer to pay for the cup first before offering up lifelong servitude.

  17. Joseph and his brothers really like speaking for god, don’t they? Anyways, just says only the cup-bearer is supposed to be the servant.
  18. AKA: Please listen up closely and don’t get mad.



  19. And the writers start to pad out the read time here a bit. I’ll translate shorter texts.
  20. AKA: We have a father and a brother.



  21. You said bring the brother by.


  22. We said our dad would die if the youngest left.

  23. And you said don’t you dare come back without him.

  24. So we told our dad this.


  25. We ate the food, so he said go buy food again.
  26. We said we need to take Benjamin with because you warned us not to come back without him.


  27. Our dad said that his wife had two sons.

  28. And one is probably dead


  29. And if the other also dies, he’ll die of grief.


  30. So if we get home and Benjamin isn’t with us,


  31. Dad will see he’s not there and probably die of grief.



  32. I took direct responsibility for Benjamin and am to blame if he doesn’t get back.


  33. So please, let me stay instead of Benjamin.


  34. How could I live with myself otherwise?

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 43

Chapter Overview

The brothers and co eat all the food they brought back and realize they need to go buy some more. Benjamin ends up coming with, and Joseph brings Simeon out of prison.

Additional Thoughts

There are a lot of things that don’t line up in this narrative, and the brothers are complete and utter dolts for not asking about some of them. For example, why would they be invited into the house of someone who believes them to be spies? I’d politely decline that offer and look for a room somewhere else out of fear of something else happening. Turns out I’d be right to do so when we see how the next chapter goes too.

Chapter 43: Trip to Buy Food in Egypt, Part 2

  1. And the famine was sore in the land.
  2. And it came to pass, when they had eaten up the corn which they had brought out of Egypt, their father said unto them, Go again, buy us a little food.
  3. And Judah spake unto him, saying, The man did solemnly protest unto us, saying, Ye shall not see my face, except your brother be with you.
  4. If thou wilt send our brother with us, we will go down and buy thee food:
  5. But if thou wilt not send him, we will not go down: for the man said unto us, Ye shall not see my face, except your brother be with you.
  6. And Israel said, Wherefore dealt ye so ill with me, as to tell the man whether ye had yet a brother?
  7. And they said, The man asked us straitly of our state, and of our kindred, saying, Is your father yet alive? have ye another brother? and we told him according to the tenor of these words: could we certainly know that he would say, Bring your brother down?
  8. And Judah said unto Israel his father, Send the lad with me, and we will arise and go; that we may live, and not die, both we, and thou, and also our little ones.
  9. I will be surety for him; of my hand shalt thou require him: if I bring him not unto thee, and set him before thee, then let me bear the blame for ever:
  10. For except we had lingered, surely now we had returned this second time.
  11. And their father Israel said unto them, If it must be so now, do this; take of the best fruits in the land in your vessels, and carry down the man a present, a little balm, and a little honey, spices, and myrrh, nuts, and almonds:
  12. And take double money in your hand; and the money that was brought again in the mouth of your sacks, carry it again in your hand; peradventure it was an oversight:
  13. Take also your brother, and arise, go again unto the man:
  14. And God Almighty give you mercy before the man, that he may send away your other brother, and Benjamin. If I be bereaved of my children, I am bereaved.
  15. And the men took that present, and they took double money in their hand and Benjamin; and rose up, and went down to Egypt, and stood before Joseph.
  16. And when Joseph saw Benjamin with them, he said to the ruler of his house, Bring these men home, and slay, and make ready; for these men shall dine with me at noon.
  17. And the man did as Joseph bade; and the man brought the men into Joseph’s house.
  18. And the men were afraid, because they were brought into Joseph’s house; and they said, Because of the money that was returned in our sacks at the first time are we brought in; that he may seek occasion against us, and fall upon us, and take us for bondmen, and our asses.
  19. And they came near to the steward of Joseph’s house, and they communed with him at the door of the house,
  20. And said, O sir, we came indeed down at the first time to buy food:
  21. And it came to pass, when we came to the inn, that we opened our sacks, and, behold, every man’s money was in the mouth of his sack, our money in full weight: and we have brought it again in our hand.
  22. And other money have we brought down in our hands to buy food: we cannot tell who put our money in our sacks.
  23. And he said, Peace be to you, fear not: your God, and the God of your father, hath given you treasure in your sacks: I had your money. And he brought Simeon out unto them.
  24. And the man brought the men into Joseph’s house, and gave them water, and they washed their feet; and he gave their asses provender.
  25. And they made ready the present against Joseph came at noon: for they heard that they should eat bread there.
  26. And when Joseph came home, they brought him the present which was in their hand into the house, and bowed themselves to him to the earth.
  27. And he asked them of their welfare, and said, Is your father well, the old man of whom ye spake? Is he yet alive?
  28. And they answered, Thy servant our father is in good health, he is yet alive. And they bowed down their heads, and made obeisance.
  29. And he lifted up his eyes, and saw his brother Benjamin, his mother’s son, and said, Is this your younger brother, of whom ye spake unto me? And he said, God be gracious unto thee, my son.
  30. And Joseph made haste; for his bowels did yearn upon his brother: and he sought where to weep; and he entered into his chamber, and wept there.
  31. And he washed his face, and went out, and refrained himself, and said, Set on bread.
  32. And they set on for him by himself, and for them by themselves, and for the Egyptians, which did eat with him, by themselves: because the Egyptians might not eat bread with the Hebrews; for that is an abomination unto the Egyptians.
  33. And they sat before him, the firstborn according to his birthright, and the youngest according to his youth: and the men marvelled one at another.
  34. And he took and sent messes unto them from before him: but Benjamin’s mess was five times so much as any of their’s. And they drank, and were merry with him.

  1. Yeah, we already heard know
  2. How much food did they take? Did this last them days? Months? How long has Simeon been in prison now? Do the brothers/Jacob even care about him?
  3. AKA: We gotta bring Benjaminny.



  4. Send Benjamin and we go.

  5. If not, we don’t go.



  6. Oh look, they call him Israel in this chapter. They didn’t last chapter.

  7. AKA: They realize that the request is strange and unreasonable, but they didn’t do anything about it.



  8. AKA: We gotta do this.



  9. AKA: If anything happens, I’m to blame.



  10. AKA: We really should have gone back already.
  11. Jacob decides to send a bribe with to try ensure the safety of his children. Not a bad idea actually.



  12. And he’s also making them take enough to repay just in case they stole the money somehow. He’s being surprisingly reasonable in this case.
  13. Take Benjaminny and go

  14. AKA: I really hope nothing bad happens.



  15. How easy is Joseph to find there? Presumably there’d be some evidence of him being there too, right? No? Oh… carry on then.
  16. This is kinda ambiguous…. it almost sounds like he intends to slay his brothers. That’s not the case, and he really means slay some food, but still…
  17. AKA: how much of this book should have been summed up.
  18. They’re worried about the money. Seeing as they apparently weren’t there when it was returned, that’s somewhat reasonable.




  19. They’re not going inside quite yet. Must not have been invited in.

  20. And here the brothers tell the tale of the double money.
  21. AKA: We don’t know how, but we still have all our money from last time. We brought it back here.


  22. This is another redundant verse. Get rid of it.

  23. They should REALLY be looking askance at this guy by now. Seriously. Why would he speak about a god, singular, when the Egyptians had a polytheistic faith? It doesn’t line up.
  24. They were welcomed in and taken care of. This is ALSO something that a complete stranger who thinks they’re spies wouldn’t do.
  25. Gotta prepare for eating some food with the guy who keeps accusing them of stuff.

  26. Oh look.. Joseph’s dreams from oh so long ago are starting to come true. People point to this as prophecy fulfillment. I point out that any work of fiction can do that.
  27. AKA: Is dad still alive?


  28. AKA: Yes.



  29. He sees Benjamin, and apparently this moves him to tears for some reason. Why? Unclear. It’s never explained why he liked Benjamin so much.

  30. But why? We need details people! If you’re going to pad out your word count with retelling things ad naseum, at least you could provide some details.
  31. AKA: He goes out and keeps from crying.

  32. Why? I haven’t researched this quite yet, but I’m pretty sure this isn’t a thing. It seems more likely that this was made up to keep Joseph separate from them for a little longer. Egyptians eating with Hebrews is a VERY specific thing.
  33. AKA: The brothers eat and are surprised that everything is going so well.


  34. Benjamin got the most food.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 42

Chapter Overview

Jacob realizes they need to buy food and sends his remaining sons (sans 1) down to buy food. Joseph recognizes them because he’s personally overseeing all sales (apparently) and messes with them. They return home without Simeon to tell the tale to their father. He refuses to follow orders though (reasonably enough).

Additional Thoughts

Why do the brothers think this is connected to their selling of Joseph at all? The entire chapter has the brothers feeling on-edge about the whole selling Joseph thing, but… he’s been gone for years. Why do they still act this way? Sure, feeling guilty is one thing, but they seem to tie EVERYTHING that goes wrong back to selling off Joseph. They have no reason to believe that’s the case though.

Also, what would Joseph’s “test” prove to anyone who thought that the brothers were spies? The brothers could easily be lying and just bring back some random kid from their home country. People tend to have trouble differentiating faces that are different from the norm they see on a daily basis, so grabbing some kid with a similar hair and skin color would be enough to confuse many people. All Joseph’s little test proves is that a group of people could bring back a kid from another country. Without any external verification, such as sending a group of soldiers along with them to verify what they do, the test is worthless.

Why are we supposed to be rooting for Joseph here? Sure, he was sold into slavery, but he’s just being a dick at this point and causing his father, who is blameless in this particular matter, additional grief.

Chapter 42: Toss a Coin to Your Brother
AKA: Joseph is a Dick

  1. Now when Jacob saw that there was corn in Egypt, Jacob said unto his sons, Why do ye look one upon another?
  2. And he said, Behold, I have heard that there is corn in Egypt: get you down thither, and buy for us from thence; that we may live, and not die.
  3. And Joseph’s ten brethren went down to buy corn in Egypt.
  4. But Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, Jacob sent not with his brethren; for he said, Lest peradventure mischief befall him.
  5. And the sons of Israel came to buy corn among those that came: for the famine was in the land of Canaan.
  6. And Joseph was the governor over the land, and he it was that sold to all the people of the land: and Joseph’s brethren came, and bowed down themselves before him with their faces to the earth.
  7. And Joseph saw his brethren, and he knew them, but made himself strange unto them, and spake roughly unto them; and he said unto them, Whence come ye? And they said, From the land of Canaan to buy food.
  8. And Joseph knew his brethren, but they knew not him.
  9. And Joseph remembered the dreams which he dreamed of them, and said unto them, Ye are spies; to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
  10. And they said unto him, Nay, my lord, but to buy food are thy servants come.
  11. We are all one man’s sons; we are true men, thy servants are no spies.
  12. And he said unto them, Nay, but to see the nakedness of the land ye are come.
  13. And they said, Thy servants are twelve brethren, the sons of one man in the land of Canaan; and, behold, the youngest is this day with our father, and one is not.
  14. And Joseph said unto them, That is it that I spake unto you, saying, Ye are spies:
  15. Hereby ye shall be proved: By the life of Pharaoh ye shall not go forth hence, except your youngest brother come hither.
  16. Send one of you, and let him fetch your brother, and ye shall be kept in prison, that your words may be proved, whether there be any truth in you: or else by the life of Pharaoh surely ye are spies.
  17. And he put them all together into ward three days.
  18. And Joseph said unto them the third day, This do, and live; for I fear God:
  19. If ye be true men, let one of your brethren be bound in the house of your prison: go ye, carry corn for the famine of your houses:
  20. But bring your youngest brother unto me; so shall your words be verified, and ye shall not die. And they did so.
  21. And they said one to another, We are verily guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.
  22. And Reuben answered them, saying, Spake I not unto you, saying, Do not sin against the child; and ye would not hear? therefore, behold, also his blood is required.
  23. And they knew not that Joseph understood them; for he spake unto them by an interpreter.
  24. And he turned himself about from them, and wept; and returned to them again, and communed with them, and took from them Simeon, and bound him before their eyes.
  25. Then Joseph commanded to fill their sacks with corn, and to restore every man’s money into his sack, and to give them provision for the way: and thus did he unto them.
  26. And they laded their asses with the corn, and departed thence.
  27. And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for, behold, it was in his sack’s mouth.
  28. And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and, lo, it is even in my sack: and their heart failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us?
  29. And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying,
  30. The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country.
  31. And we said unto him, We are true men; we are no spies:
  32. We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan.
  33. And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone:
  34. And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land.
  35. And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks, that, behold, every man’s bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid.
  36. And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me.
  37. And Reuben spake unto his father, saying, Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hand, and I will bring him to thee again.
  38. And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave.

  1. It’s been years since Joseph was sold into slavery, and the brothers are STILL cagey when Egypt comes up? I don’t buy it.
  2. AKA: Go get us some food because we’re kinda hungry here.


  3. Why are so many people needed? Protection from bandits?
  4. First we’ve heard about Benjamin… and since he’s been introduced this way, we know something will happen to him.
  5. What responsible brothers… they go to do exactly what was asked of them so they can live.
  6. He was in charge of selling this by himself? That is a HUGE bottleneck. There’s no way that one person would be able to do everything by himself. He’d need some hired help for this.
  7. This is sounding like a slightly different take on the whole “She’s my sister” narrative we got in other chapters. These people just LOVE to lie to others. How is this a good thing?
  8. To be fair, last time Joseph saw them, they sold him into slavery.
  9. Sounds like Joseph is still bitter about the entire ordeal still. If only someone could have told the brothers that actions have consequences…
  10. Also… how would Joseph recognize them? Presumably it’s been YEARS.
  11. AKA: Please don’t hurt us

  12. It sounds like Joseph just wants to mess with them. Fair enough for what they did.
  13. This is a very strange protestation to being called a spy. “We can’t be spies because we come from another country and are all brothers. 2 aren’t here right now”
  14. Here we see a little something called “No Evidence” for this claim.
  15. How would this prove anything? The brothers should be calling him out for just being weird.
  16. This is surely the most convoluted way to get too-good-for-this-world Benjamin back into the main questline. The devs need to work on their narrative storywriting skills or hire an outside contractor.
  17. But why? Didn’t he want them to go and fetch Benjamin? This makes no sense.
  18. They should really ask him which god. That would clear things up.
  19. AKA: Take your stuff home, but I’m keeping one of you here.

  20. And make sure to bring Benjamin back. He’s very important because reasons and I said so.
  21. They’re feeling remorseful still? It was years ago. I’m surprised they think this little event has anything at all to do with selling Joseph into slavery. There is NO logical link between the two from their point of view.
  22. There’s still no reason to believe that there is any link between this situation and selling Joseph, especially since Joseph disguised himself.
  23. See? Exactly what I was saying. They shouldn’t see any link between this. 1/5 Hieroglyphs. Needs better plot.
  24. The “He” in this situation is Joseph, just in case you got lost.


  25. So… everyone gets a refund for the grain that they buy? That’s no way to run a business. Seems like they should be feeling somewhat suspicious about this little escapade by now.
  26. Time to move out.

  27. Yeah, we were told that earlier.



  28. Were the brothers not there when the money was put into the sacks? This is somewhat convoluted. Also, god did nothing. This is the work of men. Stop blaming god you ninny’s.
  29. Hopefully we don’t have the authors about to pad out their word count again…

  30. Dadgummit… at least it’s not padded out too much.

  31. This is unnecessary. Were I the editor of the original, I’d take this out.
  32. And this. Why repeat yourself? We, the audience, already know this information.

  33. Additional blathering on about what we already know.



  34. Seems like they really should be very confused about HOW this is supposed to prove anything to any reasonable person. They could come back with a random kid and claim it’s their brother.
  35. They really must not have been present when the sacks were loaded or something.



  36. AKA: I don’t want to lose yet another kid. Benjamin isn’t going nowhere (and of course, the double negative means he WILL be going somewhere… but in the next chapter.)
  37. This is stupid in the extreme. “You lost Joseph, and if I don’t bring benjamin back, kill my sons”. Do the sons have any say in this?
  38. AKA: Benjaminny ain’t going nowhere.