Author: ephreal

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 25

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 27

1. And there was a famine in the land, beside the first famine that was in the days of Abraham. And Isaac went unto Abimelech king of the Philistines unto Gerar.
   
2. And the Lord appeared unto him, and said, Go not down into Egypt; dwell in the land which I shall tell thee of:
   
3. Sojourn in this land, and I will be with thee, and will bless thee; for unto thee, and unto thy seed, I will give all these countries, and I will perform the oath which I sware unto Abraham thy father;
   
4. And I will make thy seed to multiply as the stars of heaven, and will give unto thy seed all these countries; and in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed;
   
5. Because that Abraham obeyed my voice, and kept my charge, my commandments, my statutes, and my laws.
   
6. And Isaac dwelt in Gerar:
   
7. And the men of the place asked him of his wife; and he said, She is my sister: for he feared to say, She is my wife; lest, said he, the men of the place should kill me for Rebekah; because she was fair to look upon.
   
8. And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.
   
9. And Abimelech called Isaac, and said, Behold, of a surety she is thy wife; and how saidst thou, She is my sister? And Isaac said unto him, Because I said, Lest I die for her.
   
10. And Abimelech said, What is this thou hast done unto us? one of the people might lightly have lien with thy wife, and thou shouldest have brought guiltiness upon us.
    
11. And Abimelech charged all his people, saying, He that toucheth this man or his wife shall surely be put to death.
    
12. Then Isaac sowed in that land, and received in the same year an hundredfold: and the Lord blessed him.
    
13. And the man waxed great, and went forward, and grew until he became very great:
    
14. For he had possession of flocks, and possession of herds, and great store of servants: and the Philistines envied him.
    
15. For all the wells which his father’s servants had digged in the days of Abraham his father, the Philistines had stopped them, and filled them with earth.
    
16. And Abimelech said unto Isaac, Go from us; for thou art much mightier than we.
    
17. And Isaac departed thence, and pitched his tent in the valley of Gerar, and dwelt there.
    
18. And Isaac digged again the wells of water, which they had digged in the days of Abraham his father; for the Philistines had stopped them after the death of Abraham: and he called their names after the names by which his father had called them.
    
19. And Isaac’s servants digged in the valley, and found there a well of springing water.
    
20. And the herdmen of Gerar did strive with Isaac’s herdmen, saying, The water is ours: and he called the name of the well Esek; because they strove with him.
    
21. And they digged another well, and strove for that also: and he called the name of it Sitnah.
    
22. And he removed from thence, and digged another well; and for that they strove not: and he called the name of it Rehoboth; and he said, For now the Lord hath made room for us, and we shall be fruitful in the land.
    
23. And he went up from thence to Beersheba.
    
24. And the Lord appeared unto him the same night, and said, I am the God of Abraham thy father: fear not, for I am with thee, and will bless thee, and multiply thy seed for my servant Abraham’s sake.
    
25. And he builded an altar there, and called upon the name of the Lord, and pitched his tent there: and there Isaac’s servants digged a well.
    
26. Then Abimelech went to him from Gerar, and Ahuzzath one of his friends, and Phichol the chief captain of his army.
    
27. And Isaac said unto them, Wherefore come ye to me, seeing ye hate me, and have sent me away from you?
    
28. And they said, We saw certainly that the Lord was with thee: and we said, Let there be now an oath betwixt us, even betwixt us and thee, and let us make a covenant with thee;
    
29. That thou wilt do us no hurt, as we have not touched thee, and as we have done unto thee nothing but good, and have sent thee away in peace: thou art now the blessed of the Lord.
    
30. And he made them a feast, and they did eat and drink.
    
31. And they rose up betimes in the morning, and sware one to another: and Isaac sent them away, and they departed from him in peace.
    
32. And it came to pass the same day, that Isaac’s servants came, and told him concerning the well which they had digged, and said unto him, We have found water.
    
33. And he called it Shebah: therefore the name of the city is Beersheba unto this day.
    
34. And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite:
    
35. Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.

1. Hey, this is sounding somewhat similar to when we first met AbramHam. Famine… journey to a different land despite being wealthy…
   
2. If I were to guess, the Pharaoh (who is presumably a different one now) hates AbramHam and his kids?
   
3. I thought all the countries were supposed to have been given to AbramHam already. Does god not remember this? Does he lack the power to fulfill his own promises to the little folk?
   
4. This is basically a rehashing of what god told AbramHam. It makes me wonder if Isaac is supposed to have actually been AbramHam here.
   
5. I mean, this could just as easily say “Because that Noah obeyed etc” and still reference AbramHam.
   
6. At least the name is the same
   
7. But why? Presumably Isaac believes in the “Power Of The Lord” to protect him. WHY is he afraid at all?? This is literally Chapters 12 and 20 redone again. For no reason that I can figure.
   
   
8. Oh look, this guy is still around. I wonder if we get to hear how old he is now.
   
   
   
   
9. How would he have even heard of this?
   
   
   
   
   
10. Oh what a shame that would be. If only there was some way that Isaac could have prevented such a misunderstanding from ever happening.
    
11. At least Isaac is safe now.
    
    
    
12. Isaac has moved out from where AbramHam lived and presumably gave up all of AbramHam’s stuff?
    
13. This sounds very familiar. How long exactly was he here? 20 years? 50? Maybe he’s at that magical age of 120?
    
14. Oh look, people are getting tired of being dunked on by some young whiper-snapper.
    
    
15. But why? It seems like having wells around would be a benefit to everyone around. This seems like a contrivance to drive the “plot”.
    
16. Oh look, he’s being sent away by the king with a bunch of stuff that made him rich
    
17. AKA: He traveled about a kilometer outside the city limits and pitched tent?
    
18. At least this doesn’t do a massive recap like chapter 18 did. Still, this seems like a contrived reason to go do something.
    
    
    
    
19. Oh how lucky for them.
    
    
20. AKA: Dude, you’re literally just outside our city, try buggering off to somewhere else instead of stealing our stuff!
    
    
21. AKA: We already told you that we don’t want liars like you around. Bugger off already!
    
22. AKA: Fine, fine, I’m leaving already! Geez… if only there was someone who could have forewarned me that lying about my wife being my sister could have unforeseen consequences.
    
23. But why?
    
24. Dadgum this guy loves to reiterate things over and over again. We just heard this 20 verses ago. We get it. Isaac is AbramHam’s kid. Alternatively, god nullified the old agreement and started a new on now?
    
25. In another fashion of like father, like son, Isaac decides to build altars.
    
    
    
26. But why? There’s literally no reason given for this event. No documentation for us to read about it either.
    
27. I don’t know… maybe the lying and stealing got on their nerves? At least he’s a little further away from the city now.
    
28. How would they have any way of judging this? Presumably they are not of god’s “chosen people”, so why would they even believe that Isaac is anything special? There’s no reason for this.
    
29. AKA: Don’t start wars with us and we’ll agree not to start wars with you.
    
    
    
    
30. Isaac can eat to that idea.
    
    
31. Presumably, if the standing army nearby had attacked, Isaac would have killed them all with a small slave army like his father would have done.
    
32. Just how many wells are they digging around here? We’ve been told about 4 already.
    
    
33. This sounds like an attempt to explain a city name after the fact.
    
34. Oh no, the Hittites are coming! The Hittites are coming! Just kidding… I don’t really care.
    
    
35. They do cause some grief for Isaac later though.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 24

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 26

1. Then again Abraham took a wife, and her name was Keturah.
   
2. And she bare him Zimran, and Jokshan, and Medan, and Midian, and Ishbak, and Shuah.
   
3. And Jokshan begat Sheba, and Dedan. And the sons of Dedan were Asshurim, and Letushim, and Leummim.
   
4. And the sons of Midian; Ephah, and Epher, and Hanoch, and Abidah, and Eldaah. All these were the children of Keturah.
   
5. And Abraham gave all that he had unto Isaac.
   
6. But unto the sons of the concubines, which Abraham had, Abraham gave gifts, and sent them away from Isaac his son, while he yet lived, eastward, unto the east country.
   
7. And these are the days of the years of Abraham’s life which he lived, an hundred threescore and fifteen years.
   
8. Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years; and was gathered to his people.
   
9. And his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, which is before Mamre;
   
10. The field which Abraham purchased of the sons of Heth: there was Abraham buried, and Sarah his wife.
    
11. And it came to pass after the death of Abraham, that God blessed his son Isaac; and Isaac dwelt by the well Lahairoi.
    
12. Now these are the generations of Ishmael, Abraham’s son, whom Hagar the Egyptian, Sarah’s handmaid, bare unto Abraham:
    
13. And these are the names of the sons of Ishmael, by their names, according to their generations: the firstborn of Ishmael, Nebajoth; and Kedar, and Adbeel, and Mibsam,
    
14. And Mishma, and Dumah, and Massa,
    
15. Hadar, and Tema, Jetur, Naphish, and Kedemah:
    
16. These are the sons of Ishmael, and these are their names, by their towns, and by their castles; twelve princes according to their nations.
    
17. And these are the years of the life of Ishmael, an hundred and thirty and seven years: and he gave up the ghost and died; and was gathered unto his people.
    
18. And they dwelt from Havilah unto Shur, that is before Egypt, as thou goest toward Assyria: and he died in the presence of all his brethren.
    
19. And these are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abraham begat Isaac:
    
20. And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padanaram, the sister to Laban the Syrian.
    
21. And Isaac intreated the Lord for his wife, because she was barren: and the Lord was intreated of him, and Rebekah his wife conceived.
    
22. And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the Lord.
    
23. And the Lord said unto her, Two nations are in thy womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger than the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.
    
24. And when her days to be delivered were fulfilled, behold, there were twins in her womb.
    
25. And the first came out red, all over like an hairy garment; and they called his name Esau.
    
26. And after that came his brother out, and his hand took hold on Esau’s heel; and his name was called Jacob: and Isaac was threescore years old when she bare them.
    
27. And the boys grew: and Esau was a cunning hunter, a man of the field; and Jacob was a plain man, dwelling in tents.
    
28. And Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison: but Rebekah loved Jacob.
    
29. And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint:
    
30. And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint: therefore was his name called Edom.
    
31. And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright.
    
32. And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me?
    
33. And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob.
    
34. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.

1. So far, the bible has been ok with polygamy.
   
   
2. Worthless genealogies time!
   6 kiddos
   
3. 2 kiddos and 3 kiddos
   
   
   
4. 5 kiddos. This author’s desire for the number 7 to show up because 7 is “important” somehow is showing.
   
5. Wow. These other kids got nothing?
   
   
6. That’s not what verse 5 says. This is a better deal than Ishmael got though.
   Also… AbramHam has concubines now? Apparently that’s also allowed by the bible.
   
   
7. That comes out to 175 for those who have trouble with following the math. No respect for Genesis 6:3 either
   
8. He certainly lived to an old age. So old that god should have struck him down 55 years ago.
   
9. Wasn’t Ishmael off forming a country somewhere? This sounds like the same cave. When did Zohar become a Hittite?
   
   
10. Yep, it’s the same cave. No explanation for how Zohar is suddenly a Hittite.
    
    
11. Yes, that one from the annoyingly long chapter 24.
    
    
12. Stop springing genealogies on me by surprise! It’s not funny! I might be mentally scarred…
    
13. 4 kiddos
    
    
    
    
    
14. 3 kiddos
    
15. 5 kiddos
    
    
16. Oh look… this is starting to sound somewhat like the 12 tribes of Israel we’ll be seeing later. Any relation?
    
    
17. How rude… dying at 137 when he was clearly supposed to die 17 years ago.
    
    
    
18. So… he died mid day at lunch time with everyone?
    
    
    
19. Yeah, we already know that by now.
    
    
20. This means AbramHam was 140 at the time. Looks like plot demands we learn more about Bethuel here.
    
    
21. This uses the same misconceptions about how pregnancy happens I mentioned many chapters back. Additional proof that this isn’t a godly inspired document.
    
22. I like how everyone is able to just go check up on god here. Does he just chill around the house somewhere? A mountaintop?
    
23. Sounds like the bible is once again setting up some people to be the designated slave class. Can I take a moment to mention just how repugnant that is?
    
    
    
24. Cool.
    
    
    
25. So…. covered in blood? Does Rebekah need to have a blood transfusion? Iron tablets? I’m pretty sure she needs treatment.
    
26. That’s a pretty strong baby grasper. Anyone know babies that can firmly grasp things?
    
    
27. Sounds like we’re getting a shameless plug for the nomadic life again. Hunting/cities bad, tents/sheep good.
    
28. Keep this claim that Jacob loves Esau in mind for verse 31.
    
29. Sounds like Esau just had a hard day at work. Probably needs a nibble
    
30. He’s hungry, as most people are when they’ve been out hunting for a while. Did his name just change too?
    
31. What a dick. Sounds like he got jerk lessons from AbramHam.
    
32. That’s a fair point, but, follow me here, go ask your mom for some food. She’ll feed you.
    
33. This is incredibly stupid… on both of them.
    
    
    
34. I’m pretty sure he didn’t despise it, he ws coerced out of it at what sounds like the point of death.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 23

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 25

1. And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things.
   
2. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
   
3. And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell:
   
4. But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
   
5. And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
   
6. And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
   
7. The Lord God of heaven, which took me from my father’s house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
   
8. And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.
   
9. And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.
   
10. And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.
    
11. And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.
    
12. And he said O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
    
13. Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:
    
14. And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
    
15. And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham’s brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.
    
16. And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
    
17. And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.
    
18. And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
    
19. And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.
    
20. And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.
    
21. And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the Lord had made his journey prosperous or not.
    
22. And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;
    
23. And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father’s house for us to lodge in?
    
24. And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor.
    
25. She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.
    
26. And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the Lord.
    
27. And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master’s brethren.
    
28. And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother’s house these things.
    
29. And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.
    
30. And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister’s hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well.
    
31. And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the Lord; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.
    
32. And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men’s feet that were with him.
    
33. And there was set meat before him to eat: but he said, I will not eat, until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on.
    
34. And he said, I am Abraham’s servant.
    
35. And the Lord hath blessed my master greatly; and he is become great: and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and asses.
    
36. And Sarah my master’s wife bare a son to my master when she was old: and unto him hath he given all that he hath.
    
37. And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I dwell:
    
38. But thou shalt go unto my father’s house, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son.
    
39. And I said unto my master, Peradventure the woman will not follow me.
    
40. And he said unto me, The Lord, before whom I walk, will send his angel with thee, and prosper thy way; and thou shalt take a wife for my son of my kindred, and of my father’s house:
    
41. Then shalt thou be clear from this my oath, when thou comest to my kindred; and if they give not thee one, thou shalt be clear from my oath.
    
42. And I came this day unto the well, and said, O Lord God of my master Abraham, if now thou do prosper my way which I go:
    
43. Behold, I stand by the well of water; and it shall come to pass, that when the virgin cometh forth to draw water, and I say to her, Give me, I pray thee, a little water of thy pitcher to drink;
    
44. And she say to me, Both drink thou, and I will also draw for thy camels: let the same be the woman whom the Lord hath appointed out for my master’s son.
    
45. And before I had done speaking in mine heart, behold, Rebekah came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water: and I said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee.
    
46. And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so I drank, and she made the camels drink also.
    
47. And I asked her, and said, Whose daughter art thou? And she said, the daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bare unto him: and I put the earring upon her face, and the bracelets upon her hands.
    
48. And I bowed down my head, and worshipped the Lord, and blessed the Lord God of my master Abraham, which had led me in the right way to take my master’s brother’s daughter unto his son.
    
49. And now if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me: and if not, tell me; that I may turn to the right hand, or to the left.
    
50. Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the Lord: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.
    
51. Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master’s son’s wife, as the Lord hath spoken.
    
52. And it came to pass, that, when Abraham’s servant heard their words, he worshipped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth.
    
53. And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things.
    
54. And they did eat and drink, he and the men that were with him, and tarried all night; and they rose up in the morning, and he said, Send me away unto my master.
    
55. And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide with us a few days, at the least ten; after that she shall go.
    
56. And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the Lord hath prospered my way; send me away that I may go to my master.
    
57. And they said, We will call the damsel, and enquire at her mouth.
    
58. And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.
    
59. And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham’s servant, and his men.
    
60. And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed possess the gate of those which hate them.
    
61. And Rebekah arose, and her damsels, and they rode upon the camels, and followed the man: and the servant took Rebekah, and went his way.
    
62. And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country.
    
63. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
    
64. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
    
65. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.
    
66. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done.
    
67. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

1. Given that Sarah died at 127, I can only assume he’s about 140 by this point. Genesis 6:3 my foot.
   
2. That sounds somewhat odd…
   
   
   
3. Does he also swear by AbramHam’s genitals what with his hand being so near to them? Why doesn’t he want his son marrying a Canaanite either?
   
   
4. AKA: Only an exotic woman from a far away place is worth presenting to my son.
   
   
5. That’s a reasonable request. What person in their right mind would really leave their family, travel to another country, and marry a man they’ve never met?
   
   
6. AKA: Here’s a non-specific threat for daring to question your master.
   
7. This is a wonderful speech and all, but I wouldn’t be feeling too convinced if I were this servant here. This sounds like god is supposed to force the woman to fall in love through the use of an angel. What about free will?
   
   
8. You’re free if you find no one, but god and his magic powers will ensure you suceed.
   
   
   
9. And, apparently, fondled him slightly while he did so.
   
   
10. Does this imply that everything AbramHam owned was 10 camels? Also, did Nahor, AbramHam’s brother, build a city since we last heard of him? Or is this just a city with the same name?
    
11. So he chooses to have his camels go take a drink when there are pretty ladies about. Smooth.
    
    
12. Apparently this god, who is not the slave’s god, but only of the slave’s master, would be expected to answer this.
    
    
13. I imagine he’s ogling a few of the ladies as they walk by too.
    
    
14. AKA: He’ll ask a random woman for some water, and she’ll give him enough for him and his camels. That sounds like something that any woman he asks would do.
    
    
    
    
    
15. Now the reason comes out for why Bethuel was mentioned before. This means that Isaac will be marrying his second cousin.
    
    
    
16. Generally speaking, men do find women fair to look on. I’m not sure why this specifically calls this out. How can he tell she’s a virgin just by looking at her?
    
17. AKA: Pretending to be thirsty.
    
    
    
18. And she, being kind, offers him a drink.
    
    
    
19. She, being kind, realizes that the animals with this rando probably need some water too. As it’s not hard to get, she gets some.
    
20. Seems like she tosses anything he didn’t drink into a trough for the camels, and then gets more?
    
21. Given that this lady has only acted like a decent human being, it seems right to wonder.
    
22. I presume that means they’re valuable?
    
    
    
    
    
23. This wouldn’t raise any red flags at all. Nope, no siree. A random stranger asking a pretty girl where she lives. Just normal.
    
24. She gives him the rundown anyways.
    
    
    
25. Even still, would you want this rando to be staying with you?
    
    
26. I assume he just falls down immediately after she says that.
    
27. Is he saying this? Thinking this? While it’s a problem with a lot of this, how would the author have any idea what he said? Do we have any sources? Any references?
    
    
28. I’d run away too, but to tell my parents to keep this crazy guy away at all costs.
    
29. So this guy runs out to the well for some reason.
    
    
30. This verse mangles time horribly. It’s not until the very end that you get told that Laban saw Rebekah get home and heard her tale that he runs out. Why have verse 29 before this?
    
    
    
31. What evidence is he basing the phrase “blessed of the Lord” on? This random guys ravings to his sister? He is very accepting if so.
    
32. So the servant shows up and washes Laban’s feet?
    
    
    
    
33. What a responsible young man.
    
    
    
34. duly noted.
    
35. Sure, sure, give AbramHam credit. He really got most of his wealth from pimping his wife out to various kings and pharaohs with the whole “ShE’s My SiStEr!11!” deception.
    
    
36. Get to the point already. A simple “AbramHam is looking for a woman to be his son’s wife” would suffice.
    
37. They never do mention why this is so though. What’s wrong with the place that AbramHam lives in that he hates the people so much?
    
38. Get to the point already.
    
    
    
39. You are spending too much time on exposition.
    
40. No angel has been present so far. This does literally nothing to drive the plot and fill up space in this book.
    
    
    
41. I didn’t realize how good the authors of genesis are at filler.
    
    
    
42. Especially since the author has added in over 10 worthless verses already.
    
    
43. And he continues to add in more…. and more…. and more…
    
    
    
    
44. And the author just keeps on writing!
    
    
    
    
45. Seriously, cut to the point already.
    
    
    
    
    
46. We already know all of this.
    
    
    
    
47. Maybe a simple “And he relayed unto the family of Nahor all of his travels and all the AbramHam told him concerning the need to find a wife for Isaac, the son of AbramHam” would have sufficied?
    
48. Because this is getting REALLY old.
    Praise the lord for forcing people to fall in love! Maybe he subcontracted this one out to aphrodite.
    
    
49. AKA: Please tell me if this entire expedition is the result of a mad man’s delusion.
    
    
50. AKA: Why should we know??
    
    
    
51. They are VERY willing to just give Rebekah up. Would anyone today do something like this? She gets no say in it??
    
52. In front of everyone again?
    
    
    
53. So… he gives away AbramHams stuff as a form of a dowry I guess? Talk about buying a bride.
    
    
54. Does he really need to be sent away? He doesn’t really report to these guys. Why not just pack up and leave like planned?
    
    
55. Reasonable request… Give the poor girl some time to straighten things out.
    
    
56. This guy REALLY wants to leave already. So much so that he doesn’t care how some girl he’s yoinking away feels.
    
57. Somewhat reasonable I guess.
    
    
58. But why? Why would she even want to leave? There’s literally no reason for her to do so. Plot demands it, I suppose
    
59. So… how many people came on this journey? The “men” here seems to imply more than just the servant.
    
60. This sounds like they somehow know of the covenant to AbramHam. Presumably he told them sometime?
    
    
    
61. They just sent her with some guy they met a day before claiming to be from AbramHam. Just how trustworthy and gullible are these people?
    
62. Oh look… another well. Apparently these things are being named all over the place
    
63. How many camels though? If there’s more than 10, it’s probably a stampede.
    
    
    
64. Jumps off the camel randomly
    
    
65. Is this where arguments for things like the hijab were originally made from?
    
    
    
    
66. See… this is exactly what verses 33-49 should have been.
    
67. AKA: They get it on asap. Apparently getting some loving on is enough to help someone feel better about losing their mother. There’s also no indication that Rebekah love Isaac in return.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 22

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 24

1. And Sarah was an hundred and seven and twenty years old: these were the years of the life of Sarah.
   
2. And Sarah died in Kirjatharba; the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan: and Abraham came to mourn for Sarah, and to weep for her.
   
3. And Abraham stood up from before his dead, and spake unto the sons of Heth, saying,
   
4. I am a stranger and a sojourner with you: give me a possession of a buryingplace with you, that I may bury my dead out of my sight.
   
5. And the children of Heth answered Abraham, saying unto him,
   
6. Hear us, my lord: thou art a mighty prince among us: in the choice of our sepulchres bury thy dead; none of us shall withhold from thee his sepulchre, but that thou mayest bury thy dead.
   
7. And Abraham stood up, and bowed himself to the people of the land, even to the children of Heth.
   
8. And he communed with them, saying, If it be your mind that I should bury my dead out of my sight; hear me, and intreat for me to Ephron the son of Zohar,
   
9. That he may give me the cave of Machpelah, which he hath, which is in the end of his field; for as much money as it is worth he shall give it me for a possession of a buryingplace amongst you.
   
10. And Ephron dwelt among the children of Heth: and Ephron the Hittite answered Abraham in the audience of the children of Heth, even of all that went in at the gate of his city, saying,
    
11. Nay, my lord, hear me: the field give I thee, and the cave that is therein, I give it thee; in the presence of the sons of my people give I it thee: bury thy dead.
    
12. And Abraham bowed down himself before the people of the land.
    
13. And he spake unto Ephron in the audience of the people of the land, saying, But if thou wilt give it, I pray thee, hear me: I will give thee money for the field; take it of me, and I will bury my dead there.
    
14. And Ephron answered Abraham, saying unto him,
    
15. My lord, hearken unto me: the land is worth four hundred shekels of silver; what is that betwixt me and thee? bury therefore thy dead.
    
16. And Abraham hearkened unto Ephron; and Abraham weighed to Ephron the silver, which he had named in the audience of the sons of Heth, four hundred shekels of silver, current money with the merchant.
    
17. And the field of Ephron which was in Machpelah, which was before Mamre, the field, and the cave which was therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round about, were made sure
    
18. Unto Abraham for a possession in the presence of the children of Heth, before all that went in at the gate of his city.
    
19. And after this, Abraham buried Sarah his wife in the cave of the field of Machpelah before Mamre: the same is Hebron in the land of Canaan.
    
20. And the field, and the cave that is therein, were made sure unto Abraham for a possession of a buryingplace by the sons of Heth.

1. Looks like they still can’t keep up with Genesis 6:3. I don’t think these authors compared notes. How old is AbramHam?
   
2. If Hebron is in the land of Canaan, and god gave the land of Canaan to AbramHam… does he own Kirjatharba, aka Hebron?
   
   
3. Speak already!
   
   
   
4. AKA: Let me bury my dead wife here somewhere.
   
   
   
5. Just answer already.
   
   
6. Sounds like they’re giving quite a bit of reverence to a guy we’re supposed to believe they don’t know.
   
   
   
7. He actually shows respect back. shocking.
   
   
   
8. Boy this is getting repetitious.
   
   
   
   
9. To quote Monty python, get on with it!
   
   
   
   
   
10. Sounds like this Ephron is a pretty swell dude all things considered.
    
    
    
    
11. Giving away his field and cave for free to a guy he doesn’t know? Why?
    
    
    
12. For some reason, this doesn’t include “Even to the children of Heth” like before.
    
13. AKA: Shut up and take my damn money! I want to bury someone, I’m not looking for generosity!
    
    
    
14. These as single verses are starting to get old.
    
15. AKA: subtle haggling.
    It’s worth 400 silver sheckels, but what does that matter? Just take the damn thing you stubborn old man!
    
16. AbramHam, recognizing this subtle haggling, ponies up.
    
    
    
    
17. This author really likes to go backwards and reiterate things.
    
    
    
    
    
18. More reiteration
    
    
    
19. Good grief… stop reiterating all the things.
    
    
    
    
20. This is really getting old.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 21

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 23

1. And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.
   
2. And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
   
3. And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.
   
4. Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.
   
5. And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.
   
6. And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.
   
7. And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?
   
8. And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.
   
9. And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.
   
10. And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.
    
11. And the angel of the Lord called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.
    
12. And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.
    
13. And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.
    
14. And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the Lord it shall be seen.
    
15. And the angel of the Lord called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,
    
16. And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the Lord, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:
    
17. That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;
    
18. And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.
    
19. So Abraham returned unto his young men, and they rose up and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beersheba.
    
20. And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;
    
21. Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,
    
22. And Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.
    
23. And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham’s brother.
    
24. And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.

1. It’s god who is tempting people now? This lends credence to Adam and Eve being kicked out the garden being a set up.
   
2. Interestingly, AbramHam, who was willing to talk down a genocidal god from outright destroying a city to only destroying a city if he couldn’t find at least 10 righteous people here, says nothing.
   
3. Gotta get a move on, sacrificing is best if we leave early.
   
   
   
   
   
4. That’s quite a trip. Hopefully he packed enough food and water.
   
5. I wonder if these young men weren’t part of the faith.
   
   
   
6. Why didn’t they just take one of the donkeys? Does god require you carry your wood for a certain distance?
   
   
7. At least he’s smart enough to ask some questions. I wonder how old he would have been.
   
   
   
8. And this is why we get the strong narrative to trust god rather than god abhorring human sacrifices
   
9. Sounds like this is escalating quickly
   
   
   
   
   
10. Father of the year award right there.
    
    
11. Who could have seen that coming.
    
    
    
12. So… was this thing all set up by an angel and god had nothing to do with it? Is this entire thing just a deception of an angel who tricked AbramHam?
    
    
13. And the angel provides. Oh wait, that was supposed to be the lord….
    Does Isaac need to go through some therapy to recover from this experience?
    
    
    
14. Presumably this means something. We get nothing in english.
    
    
15. What if AbramHam doesn’t answer the phone?
    
16. The angel and god are playing a game of telephone here. I can only imagine god saying “And I swear upon myself that….”
    
    
17. This is the 3rd tale that mentions this. I suspect that there are at least 3 different authors who wrote genesis and each of these are from different authors.
    
    
18. Obey the voice in the sky because otherwise… you don’t get asked to kill your son?
    
19. I wonder if this author would have a different age for AbramHam
    
    
    
20. Bah, genealogies starting up again. Also… who is telling this to AbramHam? I thought it was Sarah at first, but there is no mention of who this is.
    
21. 3 kiddos
    
    
22. 5 kiddos
    
    
23. Why is Bethuel mentioned here at all?
    
    
    
24. Do these 4 kids count if they’re from a concubine then? Does this mean having a concubine is allowed for Christians?

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 20

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 22

1. And the Lord visited Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did unto Sarah as he had spoken.
   
2. For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.
   
3. And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac.
   
4. And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him.
   
5. And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.
   
6. And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.
   
7. And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.
   
8. And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned.
   
9. And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking.
   
10.  Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.
    
11. And the thing was very grievous in Abraham’s sight because of his son.
    
12. And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.
    
13. And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.
    
14. And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.
    
15. And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.
    
16. And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bow shot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.
    
17. And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.
    
18. Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.
    
19. And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.
    
20. And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.
    
21. And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.
    
22. And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest:
    
23. Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son’s son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.
    
24. And Abraham said, I will swear.
    
25. And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech’s servants had violently taken away.
    
26. And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing; neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day.
    
27. And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.
    
28. And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.
    
29. And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves?
    
30. And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.
    
31. Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them.
    
32. Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.
    
33. And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the Lord, the everlasting God.
    
34. And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines’ land many days.

1. Presumably this doesn’t mean to imply that god decided to get it on with Sarah now…
   
2. For the “inspired word of god”, this misses the fact that it’s more impressive that Sarah is old, not AbramHam
   
3. That follows.
   
   
   
4. Double checked, it is indeed 8 days.
   
   
   
5. Double checked that too. He was 99, claimed he’ll have one at 100.
   
6. I thought that god was annoyed that Sarah didn’t believe him earlier. Does she find it funny that she had a son now?
   
7. This should really call more attention to the fact that AbramHam’s age isn’t really the impressive factor here.
   
   
8. A great feast for a kid that’s probably a year or two old? That’s a bad meal to start with.
   
9. Mocking? How so? There’s no mention of why she is.
   
   
10. Sounds like Sarah really doesn’t like her Egyptian slave. Given that she beat her for doing what she was ordered to do, I can’t imagine why.
    
11. Well duh. How many today would easily do something like this?
    
12. Apparently god is chill with this despicable act though. Kicking them out for the mere reason that Sarah doesn’t like the fact that her son isn’t the only one around is not a good thing to sponsor.
    
    
13. It’s totally good though because your kid will form a nation of his own!
    
14. Kicking out your mistress and illegitimate child is A-OK if you provide them with 1 bottle of water and a loaf of bread.
    
    
    
    
15. It seems like AbramHam was trying to kill them here. 1 water bottle only?
    
16. How long would it take for her to die after Ishmael does?
    
    
    
    
17. AKA: We heard the kid first, not you.
    
    
    
    
    
18. AKA: The kid is important, not you.
    
    
19. Sounds like she wasn’t looking very clearly she missed something right in front of her.
    
    
20. We’ll probably never hear about Hagar again because the author stresses how important the males are, not females.
    
21. Returned to Egypt in the end, perhaps?
    
    
    
22. Remember Abimelech from last chapter? Apparently he’s fine with AbramHam despite the little ruse AbramHam pulled over him.
    
23. AKA: Don’t lie to me again.
    
    
    
    
    
    
24. AKA: OK
    
25. AbramHam immediately tells Abimelech, a king, that his servants messed up. In a way, it sounds like AbramHam blames Abimelech for it.
    
26. AKA: Why are you blaming me for things that I didn’t know about? Such as your sister being your wife?
    
27. They really like forming covenants. How many are actually kept?
    
    
28. Because 7 is a sacred number kids. Numerology!
    
29. Sounds like a reasonable question.
    
    
    
30. AbramHam is giving up some ewes to buy Abimelech’s compliance in saying that AbramHam dug a well that sounds like it was already there?
    
31. This name has no meaning in English.
    
    
32. Everyone heads home.
    
    
    
    
33. For anything in particular? Or did he just shout god’s name into the wind?
    
    
34. No mention of why he’s here though.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 19

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 21

1. And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the south country, and dwelled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar.
   
2. And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.
   
3. But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man’s wife.
   
4. But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
   
5. Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.
   
6. And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.
   
7. Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.
   
8. Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid.
   
9. Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.
   
10. And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
    
11. And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife’s sake.
    
12. And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife.
    
13. And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father’s house, that I said unto her, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother.
    
14. And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave them unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.
    
15. And Abimelech said, Behold, my land is before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.
    
16. And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand pieces of silver: behold, he is to thee a covering of the eyes, unto all that are with thee, and with all other: thus she was reproved.
    
17. So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.
    
18. For the Lord had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham’s wife.

1. Why is AbramHam journeying? Towards “the South” again too?
   
   
   
2. This is the second time we’ve seen this. Why is AbramHam so insistent on hiding the fact that she’s his wife?
   
3. Why does god decide to intercede in this case before they get it on? He was quite happy to let the Pharaoh and Sarah get jiggy and then release plagues.
   
4. What a nice guy. Probably just let the old lady have a nibble and a nap.
   
   
5. Here he makes a good case. Why didn’t this work for the Pharaoh? Why did the Pharaoh get plagues? I suspect the writer just hates Egypt for something.
   
6. Did what from the integrity of the heart? Not sleep with an old lady? This sounds like it’s supposed to be a second tale of AbramHam’s journey south, just to this city instead of Egypt.
   
7. AKA: Don’t put your dick in that and let her go.
   I’m really wondering why the king took her in anyways. We’re given literally no reason for him to do so.
   
8. Sounds like he’s behaving just as reasonable about this as the Pharaoh was. What a swell guy. He must really have the hots for Sarah.
   
9. Basically the same as Genesis 12:18-19.
   “””And Pharaoh called Abram and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?”””
   
   
10. Also a very reasonable question. Why does AbramHam fear for his life at all.
    
11. But why? Why would they kill you if you’re travelling with your wife? It seems like AbramHam and Sarah don’t like each other.
    
12. Very incestuous. He’s been lying through omission then. Telling part of the truth while leaving out important bits is still a lie. Strange that god seems to be ok with this.
    
13. But why? Why would you want to have her say she’s your sister, not wife? Do you not like her? Are you ashamed of marrying your sister? I’d expect the king to start asking a lot of pressing questions about now.
    
14. This would be a better explanation for how AbramHam became incredibly wealthy. It’s not anymore because in the narrative, this is after the godly name change.
    
15. But why? It seems like a better plan would be to kick him out like the Pharaoh did.
    
16. What a nice king… he makes sure to tell the old woman that she has nothing to worry about and that he’s ensuring her husband is rich. Even though there is no reason for him to give AbramHam anything.
    
17. This is apparently supposed to be the reason for the king helping? Why was the need for healing not mentioned earlier?
    
18. Just how long were they here? This implies many years if not decades if they were having trouble getting pregnant.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 18

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 20

1. And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;
   
2. And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant’s house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.
   
3. And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.
   
4. But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
   
5. And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
   
6. And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
   
7. And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.
   
8. Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.
   
9. And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.
   
10. But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door.
    
11. And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door.
    
12. And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:
    
13. For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the Lord; and the Lord hath sent us to destroy it.
    
14. And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.
    
15. And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.
    
16. And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the Lord being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.
    
17. And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.
    
18. And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my Lord:
    
19. Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:
    
20. Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.
    
21. And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken.
    
22. Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do anything till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.
    
23. The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.
    
24. Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven;
    
25. And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.
    
26. But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.
    
27. And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the Lord:
    
28. And he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace.
    
29. And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in the which Lot dwelt.
    
30. And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.
    
31. And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:
    
32. Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
    
33. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
    
34. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
    
35. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
    
36. Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
    
37. And the first born bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
    
38. And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

1. Why are there some angels here? Given the context of the last chapter, god was going to be checking out Sodom to see if there were at least 10 people who were righteous.
   
2. Apparently Lot realized these were angels and is doing everything in his power to curry favor with the god of genocide. I can’t imagine why anyone would do that.
   
   
   
3. He annoys them so much that they finally cave and go to his house for the night. What a swell guy.
   
   
   
4. That’s gotta be a lot of people.
   
   
   
   
5. How many people saw these guys show up? Just how fast does word spread about new arrivals in town. Do all arrivals get this treatment?
   
6. Facing them on his own apparently.
   
   
7. Good advice, don’t do anything wicked to these guys.
   
8. Instead, do whatever you would want to my daughters instead? What sort of idiot is this guy? This would be incredibly cruel to, and not to mention incredibly painful for, his daughters to have a mob do whatever they want to them. Why save him?
   
9. This verse uses a somewhat hard to follow turn of phrase that shows up a lot in the bible. The “upon the man, even Lot” means that the man in question here is Lot.
   
   
   
10. Presumably the Angels, not the men.
    
    
    
11. You think the people outside would realize something strange was going on.
    
    
    
12. How many are there? Are there at least 10? Counting Lot and his two daughters, that’s at least 3. We only need 7 more.
    
    
13. Sounds like god had made up his mind and was just humoring AbramHam in chapter 18.
    
    
14. Wait… he has sons in law, who married his daughters? The same daughters he was offering to the crowds? Shouldn’t they be angry about that happening?
    
    
15. These angels determined, in a single night where they slept at Lot’s house, that he, his wife, and his daughters were the only ones who were righteous in the city?
    
    
16. This continually changes back and forth between “men” and “angels” which makes this somewhat hard to follow. Presumably, the “men” here are the angels that stayed over at Lot’s place for a single evening to judge the city.
    
17. Run away!
    
    
    
    
    
18. Lot doesn’t seem willing to run though.
    
    
19. Didn’t he spend most of his youth travelling through mountains and such? Why is he so worried about that now? Is it because, like AbramHam, he’s old?
    
    
20. It’s such a small city, surely nothing bad can happen in a small city! We all know big cities are bad, but small cities are always upstanding!
    
21. AKA: Plot demands that Lot live in a city, so the angels agree.
    
    
    
22. Did they just name the city Zoar now? This implies that it might have had another name and they decided to call it Zoar.
    
    
23. Journey to the <Cardinal direction here>
    
    
24. I’m still not entirely sure why though. Our only claims to these guys being wicked was a single interaction.
    
25. AKA: God murders things, part 2: Fire and brimstone boogaloo.
    
    
26. I thought they were already in Zoar?
    
    
27. Why though?
    
    
    
28. Presumably he lives somewhat close to there. Why didn’t he get turned into a block of salt?
    
    
29. This could have been the entire chapter up to this point. Why was everything else included?
    
    
    
30. I thought he wanted to live in a city though and was afraid of the mountains?
    
    
    
31. Why not? Presumably they’re younger and pretty, I’m sure they can seduce someone. This sounds like Lot made excuses after the fact to do his daughters.
    
32. Just remember, keeping it in the family is a valuable tradition that we find in the bible.
    
    
33. They must have got him REALLY drunk then. Presumably, she saw her father naked here… why is this ok when Noah’s nakedness was not?
    
34. It worked so well the first time, so lemme get some of the action!
    
    
    
    
    
35. This is almost an exact copy of verse 33.
    
    
    
    
36. Did Lot never notice this later on in life? No suspicions about them getting pregnant when they live in the mountains now with no others around?
    
37. Apparently plot demands we explain how some random tribe came to be so we can hate them and be better than them.
    
38. And apparently plot demands we explain how this other tribe came to be as well.

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 17

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 19

1. And the Lord appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;
   
2. And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
   
3. And said, My Lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:
   
4. Let a little water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree:
   
5. And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So do, as thou hast said.
   
6. And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth.
   
7. And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetcht a calf tender and good, and gave it unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it.
   
8. And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.
   
9. And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.
   
10. And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.
    
11. Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.
    
12. Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?
    
13. And the Lord said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?
    
14. Is any thing too hard for the Lord? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.
    
15. Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.
    
16. And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom: and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way.
    
17. And the Lord said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;
    
18. Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
    
19. For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
    
20. And the Lord said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;
    
21. I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.
    
22. And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the Lord.
    
23. And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?
    
24. Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
    
25. That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?
    
26. And the Lord said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.
    
27. And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which am but dust and ashes:
    
28. Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.
    
29. And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty’s sake.
    
30. And he said unto him, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.
    
31. And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty’s sake.
    
32. And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten’s sake.
    
33. And the Lord went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place.

1. I presume we’re talking about AbramHam here.
   
   
2. I thought this was supposed to be god, not some random men? Are there 4 (god + 3 men) or 3 men total?
   
   
   
3. Sounds like giving things to men walking by is looked upon pretty well.
   
   
4. He’s acting like a decent host at least. Maybe that’ll keep him from having plagues tossed at him like the Pharaoh.
   
5. He’s really laying into this heavily. I wonder if they tell him to get on with it in order to stop additional bowing and scraping (or anything else to that effect)
   
   
6. Sounds like there’s a total of three people he’s bringing food to. Is god one of them them?
   
   
7. He certainly doesn’t mess around about using his cattle for food if the situation demands.
   
8. Did he cook that calf at all?
   
   
   
   
9. Again… not omniscient
   
   
10. So he’s just here for a quick snack and a visit this time?
    
    
    
11. AKA: They gave up on trying to fulfill Genesis 1:28. And Genesis 9:1.
    
    
12. She finds the idea of two old people who don’t get it on anymore having a child hard to imagine. I can’t imagine why.
    
13. No, she didn’t say that. See the previous verse for what she said.
    
    
14. Finding alternatives to destroying the world was certainly too hard. And so was providing a text that has any reason to believe it, apparently.
    
15. If she made no noise, and was merely amused by the idea, did she really laugh?
    
    
16. These fellows leave and AbramHam decides to go with them for a while?
    
    
17. I think this is the first time he consults with a human on what he should do?
    
18. Well… technically Abraham does not become a great and mighty nation. His kids end up forming one.
    
19. A bit odd to speak about the guy in front of you as though he’s not here. Almost sounds like he’s musing out loud.
    
    
    
    
20. But why? What things have they done? Has god given any commands other than get laid and don’t kill people?
    
21. At least he’s checking things out and talking to people before jumping straight to the genociding business he’s so good at…
    
22. Bye angel dudes.
    
    
    
23. Thus begins the long haggling process. Why this is done at all is weird as god, who knows all, would know how many are there.
    
24. Seems reasonable. It also seems like a powerful god would be able to find a way to get around killing the righteous with the unrighteous.
    
25. This is a surprisingly reasonable argument. “You’re the final judge of everything, so shouldn’t you make sure you’re doing everything in a just manner?”
    
    
26. What about if there were 50 righteous on the face o f the planet before you flooded it?
    
27. AbramHam is quite self deprecating here. Talking down a genocidal god must be pretty terrifying.
    
28. This is starting to sound like another argument I’ve heard. If you add grains of sand together, one at a time, when does it become a pile?
    
29. Where was this willingness to overlook evil for righteousness’s sake back when he killed off literally everything?
    
    
30. This is starting to make me wonder if there were several works that were grouped into one here. One where he stated 50, another 45, another 20, and another 10.
    
31. If this logic is to be followed, then eventually you’d get down to keeping the city that is “wicked” somehow just because righteous people live in the world.
    
32. Seems like AbramHam was able to make a compelling enough case to talk god down from a local and specific murder of thousands.
    
33. Given that god is allegedly omniscient, wouldn’t he already know that Lot is the only righteous guy in the city?

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 16

Genesis Annotated: Chapter 18

1. And when Abram was ninety years old and nine, the Lord appeared to Abram, and said unto him, I am the Almighty God; walk before me, and be thou perfect.
   
2. And I will make my covenant between me and thee, and will multiply thee exceedingly.
   
3. And Abram fell on his face: and God talked with him, saying,
   
4. As for me, behold, my covenant is with thee, and thou shalt be a father of many nations.
   
5. Neither shall thy name any more be called Abram, but thy name shall be Abraham; for a father of many nations have I made thee.
   
6. And I will make thee exceeding fruitful, and I will make nations of thee, and kings shall come out of thee.
   
7. And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.
   
8. And I will give unto thee, and to thy seed after thee, the land wherein thou art a stranger, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.
   
9. And God said unto Abraham, Thou shalt keep my covenant therefore, thou, and thy seed after thee in their generations.
   
10. This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised.
    
11. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you.
    
12. And he that is eight days old shall be circumcised among you, every man child in your generations, he that is born in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
    
13. He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant.
    
14. And the uncircumcised man child whose flesh of his foreskin is not circumcised, that soul shall be cut off from his people; he hath broken my covenant.
    
15. And God said unto Abraham, As for Sarai thy wife, thou shalt not call her name Sarai, but Sarah shall her name be.
    
16. And I will bless her, and give thee a son also of her: yea, I will bless her, and she shall be a mother of nations; kings of people shall be of her.
    
17. Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?
    
18. And Abraham said unto God, O that Ishmael might live before thee!
    
19. And God said, Sarah thy wife shall bear thee a son indeed; and thou shalt call his name Isaac: and I will establish my covenant with him for an everlasting covenant, and with his seed after him.
    
20. And as for Ishmael, I have heard thee: Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve princes shall he beget, and I will make him a great nation.
    
21. But my covenant will I establish with Isaac, which Sarah shall bear unto thee at this set time in the next year.
    
22. And he left off talking with him, and God went up from Abraham.
    
23. And Abraham took Ishmael his son, and all that were born in his house, and all that were bought with his money, every male among the men of Abraham’s house; and circumcised the flesh of their foreskin in the selfsame day, as God had said unto him.
    
24. And Abraham was ninety years old and nine, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
    
25. And Ishmael his son was thirteen years old, when he was circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin.
    
26. In the selfsame day was Abraham circumcised, and Ishmael his son.
    
27. And all the men of his house, born in the house, and bought with money of the stranger, were circumcised with him.

1. The demands of perfection from this old dude seem pretty demanding. AbramHam’s already messed up quite a bit, why should he stop now?
   
2. This almost sounds like god is about to repeat the covenant yet again. This is the third or fourth time?
   
3. Sounds like a reasonable response when god keeps repeating himself.
   
4. This is sounding pretty familiar
   
   
   
5. Not sure why this is. Is it related to Canaan being owned by Ham? Abram + Ham = Abraham?
   
6. If we’re to believe this, the guy is 99 years old, has 1 child, and is probably getting quite infirm.
   
7. Yep, this is pretty much doing the same thing as every other time god shows up to talk about the covenant.
   
   
   
8. Ham has nothing to say in all of this? Does god honor the curse that Noah laid on Ham then? Does god support seeing someone lying naked and getting help for them as a valid reason to curse them?
   
9. AKA: You do as I say and nothing gets broken
   
   
10. Why does god want fleshy bits cut off? What does that accomplish? Does god really need a reminder of who his people are? Is he not omnipotent? (probably not)
    
11. But why?
    
    
    
12. That sounds like it would be really painful. Any women in the area were probably grateful for a few weeks reprieve while the men’s stickers settled down.
    
    
13. AKA: Even if these people don’t follow your faith, you better do the same to them when you buy slaves. Never mind that they probably won’t be too happy about this.
    
14. Presumably, people have failed to have been circumcised in the past. Does circumcising in a later generation bring this covenant back?
    
15. Why this name change? This is reminding me of Japan with their name changes during the sengoku jidai era.
    
16. So now it’s time to let Sarai…. er… Sarah know that she will be having children, eh?
    
    
    
17. You’re 99.. you have a long ways off, right?
    
    
    
    
    
18. Is he having regrets about having a son already?
    
19. Why not let the father and mother choose the name for once? Seems like god is playing Aphrodite with the OTPs and naming here.
    
    
20. Wasn’t he supposed to be fighting everything around him because he’s so unruly?
    
    
    
21. Got it, Isaac should be born when AbramHam is 91 years old.
    
    
22. Just imagine god running away shouting “PEACE!”
    
23. Well… the god told us we need to perform self mutilation to keep in his favor, so time to perform that mutilation!
    
    
    
    
24. Unless this took place long after, I’m not sure why they repeat his age here.
    
    
    At least he’d heal somewhat quickly.
    
    
    
25. The department of redundancy department called…
    
26. … They want their redundancy back.