Chapter Overview
There’s a huge war that’s been going on. Sodom gets sacked and Lot gets yoinked up from a life there. Someone tells Abram about all this, he assembles a small slave army to fight the armies of several combined nations. Unsurprisingly, because this is a tale about Abram and he’s the “good guy”, he somehow prevails and brings back all the things as plunder.
Additional Notes
This chapter is just as weird as the previous one. Here’s why
- Abram is suddenly a warrior badass who slaughters everything rather than a wimp who pretends that his wife is single to avoid being killed.
- There’s a huge war on and everyone can’t seem to get in enough killing.
- Lot, who was living on the plains outside of Sodom, is suddenly kidnapped when the city of Sodom is sacked.
- Abram and 318 slaves are able to complete wipe out several armies from invading nations.
One could try argue that people do get punished for the killing because Abram kills everyone who was part of the invading army. To that I say no. Abram’s only reason to go take on the armies of several nations was to save Lot, not to exact punishment. Besides, if Abram goes and kills them, shouldn’t he then be punished in return?
Like in previous chapters, this seems to be a tale that was passed down about some guy who was just the best and then codified into a tale about Abram at a later point.
The Scientific/logic/sequence mistakes in this chapter
- No punishment levied for killing (Genesis 9:6 “Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed…”)
- Abram is suddenly a warrior badass unlike in Genesis 12
- While 318 slaves is a fair sized gathering, I’m not sure that’s enough to kill several armies from other nations. Your arm would start to go numb at SOME point after all that hacking.
- Sodom’s king makes a post-mortem appearance to greet Abram (Genesis 14:10,17,21)
Chapter 14: King Fight
AKA: Abram the Badass
| 1. And it came to pass in the days of Amraphel king of Shinar, Arioch king of Ellasar, Chedorlaomer king of Elam, and Tidal king of nations; | New nations and people are suddenly cropping up left and right for us to keep track of. |
| 2. That these made war with Bera king of Sodom, and with Birsha king of Gomorrah, Shinab king of Admah, and Shemeber king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela, which is Zoar. | People fighting people. How original. Are any of them going to get punished like Genesis 9:6 implies? Note: The occurrence of this war is heavily disputed. |
| 3. All these were joined together in the vale of Siddim, which is the salt sea. | Possibly near the dead sea? |
| 4. Twelve years they served Chedorlaomer, and in the thirteenth year they rebelled. | |
| 5. And in the fourteenth year came Chedorlaomer, and the kings that were with him, and smote the Rephaims in Ashteroth Karnaim, and the Zuzims in Ham, and the Emins in Shaveh Kiriathaim, | Rebellion gets quashed after 1 year of fighting when Chedorlaomer got tired of it and decided to get serious. |
| 6. And the Horites in their mount Seir, unto Elparan, which is by the wilderness. | Quite a lot of smoting going on here |
| 7. And they returned, and came to Enmishpat, which is Kadesh, and smote all the country of the Amalekites, and also the Amorites, that dwelt in Hazezontamar. | Sounds like they really decided to go ham on the killing. Any mentions of punitive actions against them by god for all this killing? |
| 8. And there went out the king of Sodom, and the king of Gomorrah, and the king of Admah, and the king of Zeboiim, and the king of Bela (the same is Zoar;) and they joined battle with them in the vale of Siddim; | Even more people decide to join the fight. |
| 9. With Chedorlaomer the king of Elam, and with Tidal king of nations, and Amraphel king of Shinar, and Arioch king of Ellasar; four kings with five. | With 5 what? |
| 10. And the vale of Siddim was full of slimepits; and the kings of Sodom and Gomorrah fled, and fell there; and they that remained fled to the mountain. | So Sodom and Gamorrah’s kings were killed. |
| 11. And they took all the goods of Sodom and Gomorrah, and all their victuals, and went their way. | And the cities sacked. |
| 12. And they took Lot, Abram’s brother’s son, who dwelt in Sodom, and his goods, and departed. | And they took Lot. Oh horror! |
| 13. And there came one that had escaped, and told Abram the Hebrew; for he dwelt in the plain of Mamre the Amorite, brother of Eshcol, and brother of Aner: and these were confederate with Abram. | Someone who managed to escape brings word to Abram about all this going on. |
| 14. And when Abram heard that his brother was taken captive, he armed his trained servants, born in his own house, three hundred and eighteen, and pursued them unto Dan. | They took Lot! The horror! Myself and 318 people are gonna go slap down the armies that were invading real quick. We’ll be back by tea time. |
| 15. and his servants, by night, and smote them, and pursued them unto Hobah, which is on the left hand of Damascus. | Note that this can’t really be considered punitive measures due to all the killing they did. Abram is only here for his brother. |
| 16. And he brought back all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also, and the people. | And they’re somehow victorious. Way to be forward thinking and lump in women separately from goods, but not in “the people”. |
| 17. And the king of Sodom went out to meet him after his return from the slaughter of Chedorlaomer, and of the kings that were with him, at the valley of Shaveh, which is the king’s dale. | Wasn’t Sodom’s king killed in verse 10? |
| 18. And Melchizedek king of Salem brought forth bread and wine: and he was the priest of the most high God. | This guy is suddenly brought in with no forewarning. Just “He’s a priest, trust me” is about all we get for backstory. |
| 19. And he blessed him, and said, Blessed be Abram of the most high God, possessor of heaven and earth: | He blesses Abram. Do we see any evidence of this guy being blessed in return? |
| 20. And blessed be the most high God, which hath delivered thine enemies into thy hand. And he gave him tithes of all. | Really going ham on the blessing here. |
| 21. And the king of Sodom said unto Abram, Give me the persons, and take the goods to thyself. | What has Abram really done for these people? Killed some guys like any other soldier would? |
| 22. And Abram said to the king of Sodom, I have lift up mine hand unto the Lord, the most high God, the possessor of heaven and earth, | Sounds like Abram is getting to be quite full of himself. I think being told you’re god’s chosen might have that effect on a person. |
| 23. That I will not take from a thread even to a shoelatchet, and that I will not take any thing that is thine, lest thou shouldest say, I have made Abram rich: | Rejecting riches because he doesn’t want the king (who died earlier) to have his ego swell to the point where it matches Abram’s? |
| 24. Save only that which the young men have eaten, and the portion of the men which went with me, Aner, Eshcol, and Mamre; let them take their portion. | “I’m not taking anything. Just let the guys who came with me take something back” |