Chapter Overview
Abram gets a command to leave his family and journey to Canaan where god tells him it’s all his. He then gets pulled off onto a sidequest when a plague breaks out and ends up angering the Pharaoh by lying to his face. The Pharaoh is a pretty chill and reasonable guy about the the whole affair and simply kicks Abram out of Egypt rather than killing him. We’re supposed to be rooting for Abram, in case you didn’t know. Not the Pharaoh who has done nothing wrong besides taking Abram’s words at face value.
Additional Thoughts
What is this chapter even trying to show? Abram takes a road trip, lies about Sarai being his wife, and angers the Pharaoh. Maybe that lying is bad? This chapter and story is a mess.
The Scientific/logic/sequence mistakes in this chapter
- Hearing voices is a sign of mental illness, not divine authority (Genesis 12:1-3, 7)
- Does this supersede Noah’s covenant? Is it a new covenant? Does the covenant made with Noah only follow through Abram’s descendants? (Genesis 12:1-3)
- Abram leaves twice (Genesis 12:4-5)
- There is no reason for the wife/sister deception. (Genesis 12:11-20)
- Abram should be punished, not the pharaoh (Genesis 12:17)
Chapter 12: Abram Angers the Pharaoh
AKA: The Pharaoh Makes a Solid Argument
- Now the Lord had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:
- And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:
- And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
- So Abram departed, as the Lord had spoken unto him; and Lot went with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran.
- And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother’s son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan; and into the land of Canaan they came.
- And Abram passed through the land unto the place of Sichem, unto the plain of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land.
- And the Lord appeared unto Abram, and said, Unto thy seed will I give this land: and there builded he an altar unto the Lord, who appeared unto him.
- And he removed from thence unto a mountain on the east of Bethel, and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west, and Hai on the east: and there he builded an altar unto the Lord, and called upon the name of the Lord.
- And Abram journeyed, going on still toward the south.
- And there was a famine in the land: and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was grievous in the land.
- And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said unto Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that thou art a fair woman to look upon:
- Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see thee, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save thee alive.
- Say, I pray thee, thou art my sister: that it may be well with me for thy sake; and my soul shall live because of thee.
- And it came to pass, that, when Abram was come into Egypt, the Egyptians beheld the woman that she was very fair.
- The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh: and the woman was taken into Pharaoh’s house.
- And he entreated Abram well for her sake: and he had sheep, and oxen, and he asses, and menservants, and maidservants, and she asses, and camels.
- And the Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram’s wife.
- And Pharaoh called Abram and said, What is this that thou hast done unto me? why didst thou not tell me that she was thy wife?
- Why saidst thou, She is my sister? so I might have taken her to me to wife: now therefore behold thy wife, take her, and go thy way.
- And Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him: and they sent him away, and his wife, and all that he had.
- Time for a field trip kids!
- Abram (Later, Abraham) is apparently going to be a very important guy. Why? Because god says so.
- Pro tip: You can get free blessings by blessing this guy. There doesn’t appear to be a time limit on this.
- Good boy Abram does as he’s told.
- Couldn’t this simply be verse 4? Why so much repetition? If a book is going to waste our time, can’t it at least be efficient about it?
- Remember: Canaanites are BAD because Ham saw his father naked that one time. That punishment really doesn’t fit the (non) crime…
- “Your great-great uncle Ham saw his dad naked. It’s time to up the punishment and take the land that he started away from him.”
- This guy really likes building altars.
- Not to be confused with “Journey to the West”
- I can only imagine him thinking “Famine? People starving? None of my business. I wonder what Egypt is up to these days… Let’s find out.”
- Apparently he would think so given that he decided to marry her.
- Based on ages, Sarai should be 70 years old at this point. She’s apparently a pretty foxy grandma-aged lady.
- Technically the truth: Sarai IS Abram’s sister (Genesis 20:12). Why not call the trip off instead of doing this though?
- She’s too hawt for the Egyptians to handle apparently.
- And now she’s added to that Pharaoh’s GILF list.
- So Abram and Sarai get the royal treatment simply because Sarai is such a looker and (presumably) getting it on with the Pharaoh?
- But why? The Pharaoh has literally no idea that anything bad has happened. Maybe send these plagues to harass Abram?
- Seems like a pretty measured and reasonable response for a guy who has been lied to for an undetermined amount of time.
- AKA: Get out of my sight. I don’t tolerate people who lie to my face, especially when it causes plagues of unspecified to happen because I didn’t have all the information.
- Pretty reasonable response all things considered. The Pharaoh is kinda the good guy in this story.